Archive for ‘love’

February 17, 2013

The rules of relationships

by mommahasapottymouth

I think the problem I have is that I just care way to god damn much. I care about people who cant seem to fucking return it. I am trying to change that about my self but god damn it, its hard.

The worst thing about not having it returned is the amount of time you invest into something only to watch it crumble. I have sat back and watched all kinds of relationships fail because the lack of caring. After you try to try for so long, you begin think that it’s not going to work, and in the end it does not. I wish that the people who I unconditionally care about would return it, so I am writing these simple rules. Maybe some of you are hurting someone and there is still time to fix the problem??

 

  1. You can have more than 1 friend, but only 1 friend will know you the best. It sucks I know.
  2. Don’t try to make others jealous. We are not in high school. (In the chance that you ARE in fact in high school, listen here: That shit don’t fly in the real world, so just stop now)
  3. Be selfless. Dont expect the favor to be returned every time.
  4. Return the favor if you are always the taker. It goes a long way to preserving a friendship or relationship by showing that you are in fact grateful.
  5. Say your sorry, but don’t say it so much that it loses its meaning.
  6. Say what you mean. Again, who ever it is that this applies to, we are all grown ups for Petes sakes! If your feelings are hurt, FUCKING speak the hell up!!!
  7. A friendship is not a contest. Don’t compete with others for one persons attention. If they are truly your friend/love, there will be no contest.
  8. Know them. I mean really know them. Know the things they hate, and love.
  9. Never speak horrible things and always defend. If your my best buddy or my love, no matter if you are right or wrong, I will always speak good things and I will always defend you to anyone else. It’s just how it works.

But the main thing to being in a relationship or friendship that works is this golden rule:

DON’T LEAVE!

If you still love someone (mushy type or otherwise) you stay by their side, thru thick AND thin. You don’t trade them in for something that sounds better, because when better fails, they may not let you back in.

It turns out that I wish I had a friendship that followed these rules.

 

I found this poem and if my only good friend happens to read this, it pretty much is how I feel.

I Love You Too

Twenty Rules to Being Your Best Friend

1. When you’re depressed, I’ll scare the crap out of you so you’re too busy calming your heart rate to keep being depressed.

2. When you trip and fall flat on your face, I’ll point and laugh, and if anyone else dares, I’ll beat them up to a pulp.

3. When you get a boyfriend you really like, I’ll tease you endlessly about him, and when you’re not looking, I’ll march up to him and warn, “She’s my best friend; you break her heart, I’ll break your face.

4. When you’re blue, I will try my best to dislodge whatever is choking you.

5. When you’re standing by the water or on the diving board, I’ll push you into the water and laugh at you.

6. When you say “I hate you!” I’ll respond “I love you too.”

7. We can never discuss anything serious because whenever we try, we always end up rolling around in laughter.

8. My dream future always includes you.

9. When you grin, I know it’s not necessarily because you’re happy, but because you’re plotting something, and it involves me.

10. When you are trying to avoid somebody, I will invite that somebody to your house, lock you two in your room and demand you make amends or else I’m not unlocking the door.

11. I will humiliate myself to make you laugh when you’re sad.

12. When I discover an incredibly scary video on the Internet or whatnot, I will send it to you just to freak you out.

13. I love you embarrass you.

14. When we laugh, we laugh together. When we cry, we cry together.

15. I can see right through you; I can read your mind; I always know how you feel when I’m in your presence.

16. I will never stop insulting you.

17. I know more about you than you do yourself.

18. Whenever you’re planning a prank, no matter how devious it might be, I want to be a part of it as long as you’re sure you want to go through with it.

19. When we play the Trust game, and you’re falling into my arms, I won’t catch you and I’ll laugh when you topple over onto the ground, but when you fall in real life, I’ll always be there for you.

20. I will always be there for you, no matter how many times I make fun of you.

 

August 27, 2012

Oh So Much To Tell!!!

by mommahasapottymouth

So much to update, where the hell do I begin?? I have a justifiable reason for not blogging as often as I was. It was hot. Real hot. OK, not good enough? Fine. I was spending time with my kids. Still not good enough?? OK here is the real truth. My internet was slow and I was lazy. Those days my friend are gone. I am once again back.

this sums it up. got it and all pictures from bing!

First of all, my garden is my little patch of magic. I don’t think there is any other way to explain the way I feel about it. I started it with the intention of showing my daughter the changes from seed to seedling to plant to food or flower. Now, though it is just my sanctuary. Any one who sees it comments on how well it looks. And my petunias are something to see. Tomorrow I will take pictures for all to see and feel the awe that I feel every morning I walk thru it. It truly is amazing!

this is not what i have gathered from my garden, but it is how i feel its coming along!!

Next, my son, the little boy who holds my heart, has had some life changing mile stones happen since we last met. He is walking. He is drinkin moo-juice. He is one.

First Birthday Cake!!!

I will not lie and tell you that I am not sad about this. He is all I have asked for since I learned that I could bear children. While I do have AM, her daddy holds her heart. And since son and daddy’s birthdays are a week apart, this year I had a blow out party. It was huge. So big that I had several panic attacks leading up to my first glass of “Mommas Party Punch”. But, at the end of the day, I achieved the feeling I was looking for. I wanted Matt to know how special he is to me. I wanted my friends and family to be there to celebrate this time. I wanted magical. (There is that word again, I think it has to do with the 3 whipped vodka and Pepsi’s I have had tonight.) I set up Gazebos, put up white lights and decorated the shit out of my yard. I boiled 6 racks of ribs, and Matt bbq’d them to utter perfection. The beer was flowing and so was the good times. The only hitch was one person (who will go UN-named) took a few too many vodka shots and threatened my best friends husband and brother-in-law. It’s safe to say that Momma don’t put up with that shit.

And finally, I have been decluttering my house like Jesus him self-will come down to inspect. I even got the cupboards above the fridge. I used to have an empty fish tank sitting by my front door that over time became a “catch-all” if you will. It held everything from miscellaneous cords to fishing poles to toys that have been confiscated. Yes, it is gone. My daughter and son are down to a toy box each. My daughter sleeps in her CLEAN room. I am making real progress here. Y’all should be super proud of this momma.

 

So, again, to all you faithful readers, I am sorry that I have been MIA for quite some time. But it is safe to say that I am back-again. For now any way.

And tomorrow, please read about Matt’s injury and give me some advise as how to handle this!!

July 30, 2012

Guest Posts

by mommahasapottymouth

I would like to take the time to introduce the only person I would even think about letting do a guest post for me.  His name is Jeremy, but in my house we call him Fred.

Before I go any further with this, I want to make something VERY clear. I will not tolerate any one bad mouthing or saying anything hurtful about Jeremy’s situation. If you do not like what you have to hear after please just either don’t read or unfollow me. Easy pease.

 

Jeremy is my brother-in-law. He is the oldest of his siblings and has one daughter. He is one of the most creative writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading. He is always straight forward and never says anything but what he means. He is also serving in a state penitently.

 

This is where the don’t judge part comes in. He is a part of my family and I love him just the same as the rest of my in laws. (sometimes maybe a touch more, just kidding) He is paying the price for what he did. Again if you don’t want to read what he has to say, then please don’t. I will not approve of ANY mean or negative comments.

 

The first post will be up today.

June 20, 2012

When I Think About Doing Things…. I Do Them!

by mommahasapottymouth

So I have been off the grid the past few days, doing a little research for my upcoming post about fleas and ticks. Anyway, I have had nothing “post worthy” to add, so I decided not to waste anyones time. That is, untill tonight.

As y’all my little princess has  been driving me nuts lately, with her attitude ( yes, she gets that from ME) and plain mean girl ways. And today was no exception. She woke up all pissy. I didn’t make bacon so that made her grumpy. Daddy wanted to watch something he recorded last night, she was not happy about it. I wanted to wait until at least the sun was up before we went outside. Really the list goes on

Click for credit

And this my friends, is where it ended tonight:

I put her in the bath and my mother in law called. I turned off her water and stepped into the kitchen to clean up a bit. I checked on her to make sure all was good. Then I went out to stand on the porch. About 10 minuets later, I went in to check on her. Well much to my surprise, all was NOT! The water was running. I hung up on my mother in law and went berserk.

click for credit

 My words where ” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS FOR?? WHY THE HELL IS THE WATER ON??”  She replied (caught off guard, and quiet shocked that I did not find this to be the very best thing that has ever happened in our home, judging by the look on her face.) “I didn’t do it!” I shut off the water and ran to our door, busted in on Matt, shouted ” HONEY!! DONT COME OUT HERE WE HAVE A BIG SITUATION!” ( yes because yelling at the top of my lungs to not follow me to the bathroom has always worked in my favor) He asked what happened and I told him that “HIS” daughter (childish I know) flooded our bathroom. I have never seen him move so fast!

He looked in, was speechless ( in all honesty, this was the best reaction. I already flipped out) and then asked very calmly “Bug, why did you do this?”(ok so this did make me a tad mad) And you you know what her reply was?

“MOMMA DID IT!”

WHAT????

 Are you joking me? So I chimed in, ” No I didn’t!” ( we sounded like little teenage girls) To which she replied, :” The water turned on by its self!” And her dear daddy ( really he must be a saint because he was so damn calm) stated that “Baby, water just doesnt turn its self on.” And then she said ( ugh I just threw my hands up)

” UGH DADDY! When I think about doing things, I just do them!”

Well if that is not the understatement of the god damn year.

When did my beautiful little girl turn into such a monster?? Maybe the Zombies have already started, and she is one of them???

Seriously the water was up to my ankles and out in the hall. I have no towels left to take a shower my self, and when I made JR’s bottle, he had to have cold water, because his wonderful sister decided my floor needed all the warm.

I guess the one good thing is that now I no longer need to mop the bathroom floor, and that entire end of the house smells like Baby Magic.

June 17, 2012

A Letter To My Husband

by mommahasapottymouth

We may not be legally married, but damn it, we may as well be. I don’t think that he hears positive things coming from me to often, and I think that is sad. I should be telling him how much he means to me on a regular basis, not just holidays and birthdays.

My Love,

                 Gosh! Its been so long since I have written to you, it almost feels strange. I’m sorry for that. Today, I realised that I do not say and show you how much I appreciate you very often. I need to change that.

            If someone where to tell me  almost 8 years ago that we would be here to-day raising 2 beautiful babies, I would have laughed in their face. I didn’t really have you pegged as the “daddy-type.” Imagine how surprised I was after AM came home with us? You have the natural “nurture” instinct in you that makes you so amazing. Both of those babies look at you with such love, sometimes, it leaves me a bit jealous. If anyone can say that they were blessed with a man who left them speechless and fulfilled with love, its me. Just watching you with them makes everything worth it. Thank you for being the daddy I have always hope to have for my babies.

              And us!! Look how far we have come! I will admit that we have had some very dark days, but I think that the happy days out number the dark ones. I know we have made mistakes and can not change the past, but I also think we have made some really great decisions together as well. I can tell you, there is no other man who loves me or ever has loved me the way that you do. We may not be romantic, and most days we don’t have our shit together, but we mesh well. We fit together like a puzzle. I couldn’t ask for anything more, because if you ask me, I have everything I have ever wanted and needed. I am truly blessed, and I have you to thank for that.

        If someone would ask me about the future, there is only one thing that I could bet my last breath on, and its that I will always want and need you. I want to grow old with you. I can see us as that cute old couple walking slow and holding hands. I can see us sitting on the porch drinking iced tea and eating pb&j sandwiches. In the last almost 8 years, I can say that the love I feel for you has only grown stronger. And as we have grown as individuals we have grown together. I know what makes you tick. I also know what food to cook when I must have a peace-offering. I know how you feel about most of the hot topics, and, I know what I have to do if you can’t sleep. I know you, it seems, better than I know myself. I always know how the situation will end, as it begins.

         The only thing I hope for us, is that we continue down the road we are on. I know they say nothing is perfect, and I can almost agree. The bickering, joking and rough housing is what makes this perfect to me. I can not imagine who I would be if you had not entered my life, and stayed by my side when EVERYONE in your corner told you to go. I know I am the most difficult person, and I understand that I am needy. But babe, the only thing I need is what I have.

                                                     With All My Love Always,

Windy

I know its corny and long-winded. But I needed to write that. Even if he will never read this, every word is true.

I love him!

 

June 13, 2012

There Is No Going Back From Here

by mommahasapottymouth

So I have made some fucked up decisions in my life time. I’ve hurt some really good people. I have also been hurt a time or two over the years. I think that is kinda what started my down hill spiral. Now is not the time to go into who did what to me, or how they did it, but I do need to get somethings off my chest before I explode.

Today, I had to learn from Facebook (of all the god damn places) that my ONLY sister graduated from high school. I am devastated. I knew it was comin, I just figured that we could set aside our differences for one night and I could be there to witness the good deed she accomplished. No such luck. I also knew that wouldn’t happen. I wont get into the terrible details, but I will tell you it started with her boyfriend. (I have no idea if they are still together) I make quilts, and me and all the kids in the family got fabric together to make for our grandma. All significant others (married or otherwise) were to be left off. Well, that just wouldn’t fly. She got so mad. Whatever. We got over it and kind of moved on. Then we hit our final bump. It was huge. When I was pregnant with JR, I was told that there was a chance that he could have Downs Syndrome. I was devastated. I ended up in the hospital that same night with kidney problems. The very first person I went to was my sister. She shot right back that I was a liar and ignorant. That I must be stupid because everyone knows that you can not see the baby’s brain in an ultrasound. I couldn’t believe she was saying those things. She didn’t even visit me in the hospital. I havent heard from her after she told me I was dead to her. I did tell her that I would always be here when she came down off her high horse.

You see, her and I have always had a rocky relationship. But I have always loved her. I was seven when she was born, and I admit I was a little jealous. I had always been the only girl. (I think at this point I need to let everyone who doesn’t know, she is my half-sister. My biological father remarried my step mom and had a baby with her. Not my daddy. ) Then, it kind of turned into a competition between us. My step mom hated me (and still does) so she went out of her way to make Missy the perfect little girl. I remember seeing my parents pick her Binky up after it fell on the floor and clean it off with their mouth (yuck!) and I tried to do the same thing and was scolded for it big time.

I eventually ran away from my mommas house when I was 14, (for a stupid low life boy my daddy hated, for good reason) and moved in with my father and his family. All was good for about 6 weeks. Then shit started to crumble. Big time, and soon after, both parents where at the bar every single night until closing. I had to take care of my sister and little brother. And she hated me for it. One time, I called my momma crying and Missy just wouldn’t leave shit alone. She was screaming in my face. I walked up the stairs to my room, talking to my momma to calm down. Missy ripped the phone cord out of the wall. Then she came up and started taunting me. I pushed her down the stairs by her face. The sad thing is, I didn’t feel any thing when I did that. Another time, she came into my room and started throwing things at me, shoes, movies what ever she could get her hands on.

Our relationship started to get better when I found out I was pregnant with AM. She became my best friend. She walked the mall with me, went to eat and talked to me every day several times. It was everything I had wanted for us. After my daughter was born, she sat right by me and watched them sitch me up. She loved my daughter.

After a while, things started to change. She started calling less, and coming to see her god-daughter less. I knew it had everything to do with me living an hour and a half away and that she had a boyfriend at her house. I understood.

One day, she started flipping out on me. Told me she hated me for calling CPS on our father. PSH! I had not even thought to ever do that, and if I had, it would have been done when I was still living with them. Soon after, was christmas and everything after that. I have yet to hear her voice in over a year.

click picture for photo credit

I apologize for the long-winded post. I just want y’all to know. If you have siblings, don’t ever take them for granted. Tell them you love them all the time. Never say good-bye on bad terms. Always work it out. My momma always told me “From cradle to grave, always love your brother (or sister) because he’s the only one you’ll ever have.” I never realized how true that was until this. And when you get to where I am, there is no turning back. Just remember that.

June 12, 2012

Motherhood Has Changed Me

by mommahasapottymouth

I think its funny to look back at the days of “Pre-Mommyhood” and remember how different I am today. My outlook on life has changed, as well as every other part of me. Some are so profound, while others just plain suck! For example:

(From here on out BB is Before Babies, and AB is After Babies)

BB: I wore a size 0 and weighed 110 with all my clothes on. I couldn’t fill out a shirt or the back side of my jeans.

AB: I fluctuate between sizes and my weight is much higher ( I think I may have been too skinny BB, but come on, I could at least get to 125, right?) and I fill out my shirts in all the wrong places (my waist) and I still have no ass.

BB: I could stay up all night, and wake up refreshed, or sleep untill the next night.

AB: If I stay up past 11, I pay for it dearly, and if I sleep past 6:30, my children must be sick.

BB: I could nap.

AB: What the hell is a nap?

BB: I thought that legalizing Marijuana would be no big deal, same as I thought America (ok the world, but I like to start small) did not really have a drug problem.

AB: While I think legalizing Marijuana for medicinal reasons is still a good idea, I don’t think just anyone should be able to walk into the local Wal-Mart and buy it. And, I still don’t think America has a drug problem, I know it.

BB: If someone where to approach me about signing for the above matter, I would have gladly singed it.

AB: The other day, a woman out side of the store came up to me and told me and my children that only a “man and a woman” should be allowed to marry. She was shouting it. I almost punched her square in her nose. Even if I did believe that (which I don’t) who gave her the right to teach my children that is even an issue? Same as last summer, some guy with dreads (I don’t judge, but I am pretty sure he was not looking at pot in the “drug for cancer or MS” patients stand point, if you know what I mean) approached me and asked me to sign his petition to legalize it. Y’all can only imagine the questions I had to answer from my way too smart 3-year-old. Not cool.

BB: I was positive that when I had children, I wouldn’t do the things my parents did, nor would I say the things my Momma said.

AB: Ha ha. I was funny back then. I am constantly thinking about how I will deal with the boyfriend that I hate when my daughter gets to that age, or the make up she will want to wear. I am certain that my answer will be nothing short of what my Mommas answers where; ” Not in my house” ” Over my dead body” “I don’t care what ( insert childs name here) parents let them do. I am your momma, not theirs” ” If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you too?” and my already all time favorite is ” BECAUSE I SAID SO” which I use more than any other already.

BB: I didn’t want children. E V E R!

AB: I could not imaging my life with out my babies now. No matter how mad or crazy they make me.

BB: My biggest problem was if we had enough beer to camp with.

AB: Beer is not even on my list of problems, but at times I find my self wishing I had a whole damn Keg.

BB: I loved having company and going places.

AB: Now, its like, don’t come over please! My house is a mess, and my children are making it worse! And going somewhere now includes an hour of prep time, not including packing my luggage of crap for the kids. You know, the “Just in case” bag? Most of the prep is getting AM ready by begging she be on her best behavior, and bribing her with something if she plays nicely with either the children at said place or their dogs.

And finally…

BB: I loved everyone kids! I was that girl who didn’t have any of her own, but all the kids flocked to and I loved it.

AB: Now, if they are not family ( and sometimes that doesn’t always help) or very close friends kids, I can’t stand them. I think sometimes I must be a horrible parent. There is this one family who always brings their kids over and drop them off. And as soon as the mom leaves, the child changes into some kind of a demon. I wish I was kidding, but I really can not stand the kid. I think I just may have way fewer patients now or something!

 

There have been other notable changes as well. I can tune a screaming child out and know the difference between crys. I don’t look at other moms when their children are misbehaving in the store and think “Oh my gosh! Look at those brats!” Now I just think “Thank you lord! Thank you for letting my baby be good for the moment!” I no longer find it necessary to show off my goods and much rather would wear something comfy than revealing. I don’t find it necessary to get all dolled up just to go get some food for my fridge. Sometimes its all I can do to get a shower everyday and run a brush thru my mop of a mane. But the biggest change is thinking before that I knew what love was, only to find that love was only a fraction of what I would feel the first time AM was placed in my arms. That is the most profound change of all.

 

June 11, 2012

Road Trip With My Mother-In-Law Pt. 2

by mommahasapottymouth

Well, I got in late last night. My road trip is over. Leavenworth Washington is

 B E A U T I F U L!! If you ever have the chance to go, I highly recomend it!! (I hear Christmas time is beautiful, and the tree lighting is amazing as well)

My trip was both a nightmere and a dream all wraped into one! Let me explain:

  • My MIL and I got along better than ever, which says alot. We talked about everything, from pain to happiness, and everything in between. It was nice.
  • The weather was cloudy, and on our last day the wind was wippin thru horribly. It did not ruin our time, but a little warmer would have been nice.
  • My son was just as happy as always. I swear he is the most adaptable child known to man. I think if we moved him to the moon tomorrow he wouldnt know the difference.
  • My neice BA was in a sour mood on our last day. I dont blame her, really, but, I think AM had a hard time dealing with why she was being ignored.
  • We got lost on the way back, and somehow bypassed Tacoma, and ended up in downtown Seattle. We all had to use the potty.
  • I forgot my keys at the house, on which my MIL’s house keys were hooked. Locked out for about a half hour, and it was a tad chilly.

And the worst part of the whole ordeal was (drum roll please…)

  • I looked like a complete jackass of a momma. I am being completely honest with y’all here. My daughter was a monster. With a capital M. She was defiant, she had an attitude, and she was out of control. I was anxious, I was angry and I was feeling lost. She took advantage of everything that was being handed to her. I thought if we where on vacation, rules could be a little slack. But boy was I wrong. Before we even left town, she had unbuckeled her seat belt and tried to open to her door. She learned how to roll down the windows. When we stopped for lunch, she was yelling at the top of her lungs and dumped water and juice all over the table. She had stated in the car that she was “so hungry” and when her food arived would not touch any of it. 5 min back in the car, she was starving again. When we finally arived at the hotel, she had setteled down a bit, until she seen BA. Then all bets where off. She couldnt stand still. By the time it was dinner, she had hit me, ran away from me and dumped her soup. She wanted to go swiming, so when we returned to the hotel we suited up and went down. She had a blast, and I figured she would be sleepy and ready to at least settel down. PSH!! Wrong-o! She must have hit some sort of brat reserve and downed it big time!! All the sudden she wanted to go home. She hated me. She hated vacation. She was a screaming ball of maddness. Nana and BA decided to go down to the hot tub, but I am willing to bet that it was more likely than not to get out of that room. After she finally drifted off, I had a few hours to hang out and BS with Nana. It was nice to sit at the hot tub and drink a beer, talking about whatever the wind blew in. Then she woke up. Screaming how she wanted first her Momma. When she relized that I infact was holding her, she switched it up to Daddy. Man that was a long night. Nothing though, compared to the next day. All she wanted was to swim. We had to eat first. And an old man came to play this long horn (think those old Recola commercials) and we all wanted to watch, save AM. She threw a fit. Wouldnt eat. After we had our fill, we headed back to the room to pack and change. I took little girl back to the pool and she then decided that she didnt want to swim. Fit rolled in the pool and kicked the walls. After we exited the pool, we quickly returned to load the car. She was running all over, screaming at the top of her lungs. And “NO!” is her favorite word. When we left, we went to go shop. AM decided that was not going to happen. She flipped out every chance she got. I was the most embarrased person in that little town. I was at  the end of my rope. I know I looked the part too, because Nana tried to help but I think that she was worrieed about how I would react. The car ride home was the worst part. She hit and kicked BA, took things from her brother, squirted his bottle in his face. And wouldnt let me get a word in. I wanted to cry.

I am leaving alot out because I would have a book by the time I am done with this one. The thing is, I am at my wits end. I have tried everything in the book (that does not come with a newborn, by the way) to get thru to her. EVERYTHING.

 

On a lighter note, Aunt Flo waited to show up, and I found a purse that I must have. I will find out how to order one on line though so I do not have to take AM.

http://leavenworth.org/modules/pages/?pageid=1

Go check out the above link. I cant seem to get my pictures loaded to this computer. Its the official website!

 

 

May 24, 2012

The Top WORST Ways To Wake Momma

by mommahasapottymouth

I like my sleep, it comes in sporadic bursts. I have insomnia and most nights I can not for the life of me sleep. When I do finally get to fall into that sweet slumber, god help the little one who chooses to interrupt it. I’ll give you MY top list for being woke up. Add to it, or share it. The more people who know, the safer they will ultimately be.

This is what I want to be doing

 

  • The phone. Seriously. I hate when anyone calls me when nature (the sleeping kind) calls. And I don’t care that most people are awake at 7am. Most people are also asleep before 2am.
  • Being poked, pushed or tickled. I don’t even like to cuddle when I am sleeping. Please don’t touch me until I am fully awake.
  • A cold nose. My big dogs don’t normally come in my room. But when they manage to sneak in, I seem to be their target. Why?

  • “Momma! Momma! Momma!” Followed quickly by “Are you awake?” No you little turd, I am not. But now that I am, what the hell do you need??
  • A cat rubbing against me. Claws and all. Again, the cats don’t go in my room often, but the little assholes can get in thru a small opening at the bottom of my door if I do not put a freaking pillow in front of it. I hate cat hair.
  • A bed full of dog food. Or cat food. My daughter is obsessed with this shit, and can open the door so quietly you’d swear she is a ninja. I’m not sure what the attraction is, but it is defiantly there. And in my bed.
  • To Mickey Mouse at top volume. I like the mouse, but at 5:30am, I hate him. That goes for anything on TV.

And the number one top way not to wake me up is:

  • TO THROW JUICE ON MY FACE! OK, really it could be anything cold and wet. Just, if you plan to have a decent day and a happy momma, for the love of all that is good, DON’T DO IT!!

You are asking your self what prompted this post? Besides the obvious, (that every one can benefit from knowing this) this is what happened to me this morning. Starting at 2:45am. In that order. Thats what.

May 18, 2012

Quotes Of The Day

by mommahasapottymouth

With my last heavy post, I thought I would cheer my self up ( and hopefully you as well) with a few things that my daughter AM has said today.

“Momma, I am NOT impressed with your crackers.”

“Momma, PLEASE! I want to see Skylar and Blakie. I promise momma, I wont even touch them!” ( we all have this mysterious rash besides daddy, and Blakie has a horrible immune system. I would rather wait for her to see them then to take the chance to get the boy sick again.)

And Finally, the best quote of the day is…

” AKK! Momma, why are you pointing your butt at me? I don’t want to look at that thing!” ( we where in the shower, and I was shaving my forest of a leg. She was behind me being a water hog.)

My little girl when she was still little.

Ha ha ha. This kid makes me laugh so much!

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