Posts tagged ‘dinner’

March 25, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma PT 2

by mommahasapottymouth

If you failed to read part one of this, then you are missing out!! Go check it out here, yes yes, I’ll wait…

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Good. As you know, Pintrest! is not my friend!! I feel all ambitious every time I am there, but I can not stay away!!Any way.

I figured y’all would want to know the end result to my candy makin Tequila. Can I just say the green is freakin amazing!!! The lemon has yet to be added to anything, and anymore I am not a straight shooter. ( Don’t tell my friends from High School that though, they wouldn’t believe that for a second!!)

I also have to report that I tried doing this with Vodka:

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I went and got two 5th’s of the cheapest Vodka I could get ($6.25) and poured some into clean mason jars. I also bought a lot of candy. Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, 2 bags of Jolly Rancher jelly beans and marshmallows.

I picked out the blue and the pinkish red jelly beans and put all of each into a jar with Vodka and sealed. I also put 3 boxes of the Sour patch kids in to one jar and sealed it. With the marshmallows, I was worried about not being sweet enough so I added a sprinkle ( yea that is a measurement in my house) of raw cane sugar in to a tiny little jar. Here is what happened:

Jelly bean Vodka: The color change was almost instant. It took a little over a week to break down the jelly beans, and even then it didn’t break down fully. I shook the shit out of those jars every time I looked at them . I took a normal mesh strainer and ran the Vodka thru twice. After I took the mesh off of one of those mesh splatter guards ( please don’t ask me what the hell it is really called) and that got all the candy out.

sour-watermelon-slices-i4

Watermelon Sour Patch Vodka: This one took a little less time to break down. Argh but it looked so disgusting when it was “fermenting” I almost nixed the whole idea, almost. The candy sort of broke up and then settled on the bottom, and the whole thing turned a yucky greyish color. I shook this one as often as the others too. At one point my DH told me it was bad, and smelled like rotten lemon. After a week and a half, I strained it the same way as above. In the end, I added a touch of pink food coloring, because I knew no one would touch it in the current color.

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marshmallow: This shit sucked. I dropped a ton of them into a small glass and poured maybe 2 shots over. I added a tiny bit of sugar and shook the shit out of it. After a day, they were gone. And it tasted terrible. I have no clue what I did wrong, but if anyone has an idea to make it tastier I am all freakin ears!!

I am happy to report that both of the watermelon vodkas turned out fantastic, while the blue jolly rancher was good, it was not AMAZING. I mixed them with plain ol Sprite, and hot damn, that shit is good.

There are two downsides to this idea of mine though: One, they still have the “Cheap Vodka Smell” which may very well turn out to be a blessing… and two, they absolutely do NOT taste like ” Cheap Vodka,” which in it self is a terrible thing. They tasted like the candy. Could turn out to be very dangerous to my health!

Until next time,

Drink it up and Cheers bitches!!!

January 21, 2013

When Kids WONT Eat

by mommahasapottymouth

Ahh…. the joys of parenting. When your precious little baby will eat anything you put in her mouth, relish in it. I promise you it will not last! In fact, about the time your angel turns 3, that will change.

I think when a kid is born, they are pre programmed for certain things. For instance, ONLY liking hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Gosh, my house is a nightmare when it comes to eating!! Take last night:

not my kid but this sums it up

I cut up pork and fried it in to little chunks. After I simmered it in some orange sauce. I also made rice to go with. I can not tell you how good it was. (OK I can, AH-MAZ-ING!!) But, AM is way to head strong to want try it. It was a battle untill bed time.

See normally I cook for an army, in the assumption that Matt is not the only on who is going to eat. And EVERY SINGLE night I end up throwing AM’s dinner out. Unless it is hot dogs chicken nuggets or pizza.

 

Frankly, I am fed up of feeding the Seagulls at the god damn dump. They eat better than most freakin dogs!

Last night was the first time I stuck to my guns, and did not make her something else. If she is hungry, she will eat. Right? But, with that in mind, how long does not giving in make sense? This morning I made english muffins and bacon. If given the chance, AM will eat a pound of bacon and nothing else. So, I gave her the muffin first and told her when she finishes that she can have some bacon. Well, I’ll tell you what she did, sneaky little shit:

Tore it in half. Ok, I can deal with that, maybe it was too big to hold or something. Then she sucked ( yes, you read that right. ) the butter out of it. So I am thinking however you go about eating it sweaty, and she picks up both halves and stretches, the food going to the god damn dog! She says ” Aw dang it! Buddy stole my food!!” Now, buddy is no saint, and he is known for doing this. Had I not seen it, the dog would have got an ass beating and she would have gotten bacon!

So there is no way I can be the only parent who is going thru this! Anyone knows what to do??  How long can I tell her no before I break??

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

June 30, 2012

Pre-Party Fruit Experiment No. 1

by mommahasapottymouth

So we are doing a big party at my best friends house this year for the fourth. I am planning to do something over the top in terms of the liquor department. Right now I am in the process of conducting an experiment with strawberries and Tequila Rose. Here is whats goin on in my fridge at the moment:

I bought 2 big things of strawberries from the grocery store today. My children love them, and I am going to try to get them alcoholic. I only had half a bottle of Tequila left so I figured what the hell, let’s try.

I found the smallest softest berries and cut the stems off, and just the tip of the end. Then I took my paring knife and took out just a tad of the core out. I tossed them in to a bowl with a tight fitting lid and poured the Tequila right over top. I will leave it in the fridge over night, and check things out. I expect that they will no longer be a brilliant red color but instead a light pink. I figure that they will be good and soaked and, what ever Tequila is left I will be able to make a drink out of. Win in my book.

If this goes the way I hope it will, I plan to make a big platter of these along with a keg of sorts watermelon. This is what I will do.

I have to buy more than one watermelon because children will be present and they all love watermelon. Cant have the children eating my treats, right?? I will cut a small portion of the top off

click for credit

and try to get some of the pulp loosened up. Then I am going to pour in a nice amount of straight Vodka. I will replace the lid and let it sit in my fridge until the liquid is absorbed. Then I am going to take another type of liquor (I was thinking coconut rum, but coconut and watermelon?? weird in my book.) maybe a strawberry or some type of fruit schnapps or vodka and dump another generous amount. I will replace the lid and let it sit untill the party starts. My plan for the party is to scoop the pulp that is loose in to cups and serve that. Once the pulp is gone, I plan to cut it up and pass it out to eat.

So does my plan sound stupid?? Gross? Would you change any thing in the recipe? Have you tried any of this? How did it turn out??

June 11, 2012

Road Trip With My Mother-In-Law Pt. 2

by mommahasapottymouth

Well, I got in late last night. My road trip is over. Leavenworth Washington is

 B E A U T I F U L!! If you ever have the chance to go, I highly recomend it!! (I hear Christmas time is beautiful, and the tree lighting is amazing as well)

My trip was both a nightmere and a dream all wraped into one! Let me explain:

  • My MIL and I got along better than ever, which says alot. We talked about everything, from pain to happiness, and everything in between. It was nice.
  • The weather was cloudy, and on our last day the wind was wippin thru horribly. It did not ruin our time, but a little warmer would have been nice.
  • My son was just as happy as always. I swear he is the most adaptable child known to man. I think if we moved him to the moon tomorrow he wouldnt know the difference.
  • My neice BA was in a sour mood on our last day. I dont blame her, really, but, I think AM had a hard time dealing with why she was being ignored.
  • We got lost on the way back, and somehow bypassed Tacoma, and ended up in downtown Seattle. We all had to use the potty.
  • I forgot my keys at the house, on which my MIL’s house keys were hooked. Locked out for about a half hour, and it was a tad chilly.

And the worst part of the whole ordeal was (drum roll please…)

  • I looked like a complete jackass of a momma. I am being completely honest with y’all here. My daughter was a monster. With a capital M. She was defiant, she had an attitude, and she was out of control. I was anxious, I was angry and I was feeling lost. She took advantage of everything that was being handed to her. I thought if we where on vacation, rules could be a little slack. But boy was I wrong. Before we even left town, she had unbuckeled her seat belt and tried to open to her door. She learned how to roll down the windows. When we stopped for lunch, she was yelling at the top of her lungs and dumped water and juice all over the table. She had stated in the car that she was “so hungry” and when her food arived would not touch any of it. 5 min back in the car, she was starving again. When we finally arived at the hotel, she had setteled down a bit, until she seen BA. Then all bets where off. She couldnt stand still. By the time it was dinner, she had hit me, ran away from me and dumped her soup. She wanted to go swiming, so when we returned to the hotel we suited up and went down. She had a blast, and I figured she would be sleepy and ready to at least settel down. PSH!! Wrong-o! She must have hit some sort of brat reserve and downed it big time!! All the sudden she wanted to go home. She hated me. She hated vacation. She was a screaming ball of maddness. Nana and BA decided to go down to the hot tub, but I am willing to bet that it was more likely than not to get out of that room. After she finally drifted off, I had a few hours to hang out and BS with Nana. It was nice to sit at the hot tub and drink a beer, talking about whatever the wind blew in. Then she woke up. Screaming how she wanted first her Momma. When she relized that I infact was holding her, she switched it up to Daddy. Man that was a long night. Nothing though, compared to the next day. All she wanted was to swim. We had to eat first. And an old man came to play this long horn (think those old Recola commercials) and we all wanted to watch, save AM. She threw a fit. Wouldnt eat. After we had our fill, we headed back to the room to pack and change. I took little girl back to the pool and she then decided that she didnt want to swim. Fit rolled in the pool and kicked the walls. After we exited the pool, we quickly returned to load the car. She was running all over, screaming at the top of her lungs. And “NO!” is her favorite word. When we left, we went to go shop. AM decided that was not going to happen. She flipped out every chance she got. I was the most embarrased person in that little town. I was at  the end of my rope. I know I looked the part too, because Nana tried to help but I think that she was worrieed about how I would react. The car ride home was the worst part. She hit and kicked BA, took things from her brother, squirted his bottle in his face. And wouldnt let me get a word in. I wanted to cry.

I am leaving alot out because I would have a book by the time I am done with this one. The thing is, I am at my wits end. I have tried everything in the book (that does not come with a newborn, by the way) to get thru to her. EVERYTHING.

 

On a lighter note, Aunt Flo waited to show up, and I found a purse that I must have. I will find out how to order one on line though so I do not have to take AM.

http://leavenworth.org/modules/pages/?pageid=1

Go check out the above link. I cant seem to get my pictures loaded to this computer. Its the official website!

 

 

June 5, 2012

Mommas Biscuits and Gravey, and a Light Dessert!

by mommahasapottymouth

Wow, lately I am on a food roll. I think I have been posting more food related posts than anything. Sorry about that to y’all who came to hear me rant or bitch. Anyway, tonight I made an awesome from scratch dinner and changed up a recipe I got from my best friend to suit my needs for a cake. I want y’all to try them if you get the chance.

 

For the dinner you will need:

Sausage (don’t use the breakfast kind. The hot may work, but I used plain ol’ regular Jimmy Dean.)

Garlic and Pepper Seasoning

Chili powder

Flour ( I used Silk Cake Flour, and I couldn’t have hoped it turned out so well)

Butter ( you guys know me by now)

Milk

Fresh ground pepper corn (additional to the garlic and pepper mix)

Biscuits  (OK, I will admit my biscuit skills are way below par, but, Pillsbury’s are right up there with granny right??)

 

First, brown the meat, and do not drain the fat. Add some butter to the pot (oh yeah use a non stick pot for this) and melt completely. After start adding (slowly) some flour, and brown it. I like mine thick so I probley added about a 1/4 cup)  This step is critical for the right turn out. Before adding more flour to the pan, make sure the stuff in the pot is already browned. Don’t let it stick to the bottom.

After you have added the right amount of flour to your meat and butter mix, slowly whisk in milk. Remember, It’s easier to thin something out then to keep trying to thicken it up. The longer you wish and cook, the thicker it will be.

Taste and serve over warm biscuits!!

 

Now for the cake.

You need:

Angel food cake ( yes I am lazy. I bought mine pre made.)

Jello ( I used black cherry, but I think any berry type would taste great)

1 cup boiling water

Berry preserves ( I used a 3 berry mix boysenberry, raspberry and blackberry)

Softened Cool Whip in the tub. ( don’t get the flavored kind. Yuck!!)

 

Poke semi large holes in the top of your angel food cake. Set on a jelly pan.

Boil water and completely dissolve jello. Pour mix over cake. Immediately put cake to cool in fridge. At least 2 hours. (Don’t worry, the jello wont make anything soggy)

After the jello has set, spread a thinnish layer of preserves on top of the jello. Allow to cool in fridge again for 1/2 hour.

Now spread the whole cake with cool whip.

Enjoy!

 

If you change anything to either, let me know. I love to try new things!!

June 4, 2012

Mommas Stir Fry

by mommahasapottymouth

 

Mmm, I made some delicious stir fry the other night. It was so yummy I have to share it with y’all!!

 

 

I didn’t measure any thing. I never do.

 

You need:

Kielbasa Sausage

2 cloves Garlic

Butter

Soy Sauce

Orange Juice

Curry Powder

Honey

Veggies (I like the kind that has green beans and peas in them, but I am sure any frozen kind would work)

Pepper

Cornstarch

Water

Chilli powder

Cooked rice

How to do it:

Slice the sausage and mince the garlic. Toss into a pan with the butter (enough to lightly brown the sausage)

After the butter is completely melted, add 2 parts orange juice to one part soy sauce. Drizzle honey (don’t be shy with the honey. It wont be too sweet.) Cook until sauce is warmed thru. Remove the meat.

Toss the veggies into the sauce and add a tad more butter. (Ha ha I love butter. I know I am going to hurt my self in the long run, but this is my vice, so don’t judge me) Sprinkle the curry powder ( this is one spice you don’t want to go way over board with. Start with a pinch and work your way into more if you need it.) and the chili powder (again, just start with a pinch) and a dash more of the juice and soy sauce. Add a smidgen more of the honey and cover until the veggies are tender.(Turn the heat down a bit too.)

 

While this is cooking mix a little corn starch and cold water up. (No clumps silly) When the veggies are tender, add the meat back to the pan and add the corn starch, a little at a time. Bring to a boil and stir. Lower the heat back down and cover.

Serve over rice!!

 

May 31, 2012

Coffee is the secret!!

by mommahasapottymouth

Today I am making two things, well three if you want to count dessert. So, I want to share the chili first. It’s so tasty!

You will need:

Ground meat (I always use burger, but turkey may work too)

Canned beans ( I love beany chili, so I use three or four: pinto kidney and sometimes black)

Tomato’s ( canned when fresh is not available) diced. (don’t drain them)

Beef broth ( I like the kind with gelatin added, but any kind works. I also use the Knorr concentrated beef broth packets)

amazing!!

Orageno

Cummin ( I tend to use a lot, and taste while I go)

Chili powder (see above )

Chopped Onion

Minced Garlic

Cold coffee (like from this morning that you didn’t use)

Rice or corn bread, cooked as package directed. (normally I use rice, tonight it will be fresh corn bread)

Shredded Cheese

( on a side note, my DH loves to make this dish, but he does not use the same ingredients. Basicly, its meat beans and hot hot peppers.)

What to do:

Brown and drain fat from meat.

Chop onions and tomatoes (if fresh)

Add onions tomatoes and garlic to meat. Cook until onions are soft.

Add Coffee and beef broth.

Stir in tomato’s and canned beans.

Add oregano and cummin to taste, along with chili powder.

Simmer until thick. (I continue to add spices during this phase. Taste your food as you go. Only draw back is you may not be hungry when dinner is ready)

Serve topped with cheese, over rice or with a side of corn bread.

ENJOY!

May 23, 2012

Assume the Position

by mommahasapottymouth

You thought after potty training, all the nastiness would be done, right? Yes, I am right. Well, you should have prepared better. Because after your little angel learns to use the toilet, many new things will happen to you!

Oh honey, your job is not quite done yet!

My favorite (*insert sarcastic voice) thing to hear at any given point of the day is “Momma! I pooped!” Followed instantly by “WIPE MY BUTT!” I am not kidding. Just because they now know when they need to go, and more times than not, they find their way to the potty, your job is not done!!

This morning, I walked out of my room, and almost fell on top of AM, who had, much to my surprise, assumed the position. That position would be something along the lines of on all fours, ass up in the air. She sees me and says ” There you are Momma! I was waiting for you to wipe my butt. I pooped.” Well, gosh, sorry to keep you waiting princess!

The worst is when she has (this is her own words here, not mine) “Esplodie butt,” and don’t worry. I wont paint that picture. Or when she decides to try to do the job her self. An entire roll of toilet paper, and half of it stuck between her cheeks. Nice!

Are you ready for this to be your #1 purchased item?

So don’t get all high and mighty just yet, because the fun part is just starting. Now, your children will announce to the ENTIRE area (store, restaurant, or any public place) that they  need to poop. And teaching them not to really bare it all is hard, to say the least. They like conversation while getting the job done. They want you to know that they know they stink. And everyone else. And when they are done, they want to know what color it is and if it is indeed “Esplodie.” Then they will bend over and put their nasty ass right in the air (have you been in a public restroom lately? Kinda cramped) and proudly ask you to “WIPE MY BUTT.”

Oh, don’t forget to let them flush. That’s really all they like to do.

May 22, 2012

Mommas Tasty Chicken Fingers!

by mommahasapottymouth

Another recipe from mommas kitchen. Sorry for y’all if you didn’t really follow me to read what I feed my kids. I tried these tonight, and they where “So Delicious!” says my daughter AM.

 

You will need:

1 lbs Boneless Chicken thighs

2 Eggs

Butter Milk

Ground pepper

Dried minced garlic

Panko bread crumbs

Cheese French fried onions (crushed)

Butter (melted)

Foil lined Baking dish

Non-stick oil

 

In a small bowl beat eggs and add a dash of butter milk. Add pepper and garlic. Set aside.

Cut fat from chicken, then cut chicken into thin strips. Soak chicken strips in egg mixture for 30 min to 1 hour.

In another bowl mix bread crumbs and french fried onions (cheese kind, finely crushed) until completely mixed.

After chicken has soaked, dip into bread crumb mixture and place into the foil lined and non-stick sprayed dish. After, drizzle with melted butter.

Place in oven set at 450, and cook for 7 min, take out and turn chicken. Place back in and cook 8 more min.

Promptly remove from dish when baking is done and let cool. Serve warm!!

 

Enjoy y’all!!!

(If you try this and add anything or change anything, I’d love to hear what you did. I like to experiment in the kitchen!)

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