Posts tagged ‘Cooking’

March 25, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma PT 2

by mommahasapottymouth

If you failed to read part one of this, then you are missing out!! Go check it out here, yes yes, I’ll wait…

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Good. As you know, Pintrest! is not my friend!! I feel all ambitious every time I am there, but I can not stay away!!Any way.

I figured y’all would want to know the end result to my candy makin Tequila. Can I just say the green is freakin amazing!!! The lemon has yet to be added to anything, and anymore I am not a straight shooter. ( Don’t tell my friends from High School that though, they wouldn’t believe that for a second!!)

I also have to report that I tried doing this with Vodka:

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I went and got two 5th’s of the cheapest Vodka I could get ($6.25) and poured some into clean mason jars. I also bought a lot of candy. Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, 2 bags of Jolly Rancher jelly beans and marshmallows.

I picked out the blue and the pinkish red jelly beans and put all of each into a jar with Vodka and sealed. I also put 3 boxes of the Sour patch kids in to one jar and sealed it. With the marshmallows, I was worried about not being sweet enough so I added a sprinkle ( yea that is a measurement in my house) of raw cane sugar in to a tiny little jar. Here is what happened:

Jelly bean Vodka: The color change was almost instant. It took a little over a week to break down the jelly beans, and even then it didn’t break down fully. I shook the shit out of those jars every time I looked at them . I took a normal mesh strainer and ran the Vodka thru twice. After I took the mesh off of one of those mesh splatter guards ( please don’t ask me what the hell it is really called) and that got all the candy out.

sour-watermelon-slices-i4

Watermelon Sour Patch Vodka: This one took a little less time to break down. Argh but it looked so disgusting when it was “fermenting” I almost nixed the whole idea, almost. The candy sort of broke up and then settled on the bottom, and the whole thing turned a yucky greyish color. I shook this one as often as the others too. At one point my DH told me it was bad, and smelled like rotten lemon. After a week and a half, I strained it the same way as above. In the end, I added a touch of pink food coloring, because I knew no one would touch it in the current color.

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marshmallow: This shit sucked. I dropped a ton of them into a small glass and poured maybe 2 shots over. I added a tiny bit of sugar and shook the shit out of it. After a day, they were gone. And it tasted terrible. I have no clue what I did wrong, but if anyone has an idea to make it tastier I am all freakin ears!!

I am happy to report that both of the watermelon vodkas turned out fantastic, while the blue jolly rancher was good, it was not AMAZING. I mixed them with plain ol Sprite, and hot damn, that shit is good.

There are two downsides to this idea of mine though: One, they still have the “Cheap Vodka Smell” which may very well turn out to be a blessing… and two, they absolutely do NOT taste like ” Cheap Vodka,” which in it self is a terrible thing. They tasted like the candy. Could turn out to be very dangerous to my health!

Until next time,

Drink it up and Cheers bitches!!!

January 21, 2013

When Kids WONT Eat

by mommahasapottymouth

Ahh…. the joys of parenting. When your precious little baby will eat anything you put in her mouth, relish in it. I promise you it will not last! In fact, about the time your angel turns 3, that will change.

I think when a kid is born, they are pre programmed for certain things. For instance, ONLY liking hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Gosh, my house is a nightmare when it comes to eating!! Take last night:

not my kid but this sums it up

I cut up pork and fried it in to little chunks. After I simmered it in some orange sauce. I also made rice to go with. I can not tell you how good it was. (OK I can, AH-MAZ-ING!!) But, AM is way to head strong to want try it. It was a battle untill bed time.

See normally I cook for an army, in the assumption that Matt is not the only on who is going to eat. And EVERY SINGLE night I end up throwing AM’s dinner out. Unless it is hot dogs chicken nuggets or pizza.

 

Frankly, I am fed up of feeding the Seagulls at the god damn dump. They eat better than most freakin dogs!

Last night was the first time I stuck to my guns, and did not make her something else. If she is hungry, she will eat. Right? But, with that in mind, how long does not giving in make sense? This morning I made english muffins and bacon. If given the chance, AM will eat a pound of bacon and nothing else. So, I gave her the muffin first and told her when she finishes that she can have some bacon. Well, I’ll tell you what she did, sneaky little shit:

Tore it in half. Ok, I can deal with that, maybe it was too big to hold or something. Then she sucked ( yes, you read that right. ) the butter out of it. So I am thinking however you go about eating it sweaty, and she picks up both halves and stretches, the food going to the god damn dog! She says ” Aw dang it! Buddy stole my food!!” Now, buddy is no saint, and he is known for doing this. Had I not seen it, the dog would have got an ass beating and she would have gotten bacon!

So there is no way I can be the only parent who is going thru this! Anyone knows what to do??  How long can I tell her no before I break??

August 27, 2012

Oh So Much To Tell!!!

by mommahasapottymouth

So much to update, where the hell do I begin?? I have a justifiable reason for not blogging as often as I was. It was hot. Real hot. OK, not good enough? Fine. I was spending time with my kids. Still not good enough?? OK here is the real truth. My internet was slow and I was lazy. Those days my friend are gone. I am once again back.

this sums it up. got it and all pictures from bing!

First of all, my garden is my little patch of magic. I don’t think there is any other way to explain the way I feel about it. I started it with the intention of showing my daughter the changes from seed to seedling to plant to food or flower. Now, though it is just my sanctuary. Any one who sees it comments on how well it looks. And my petunias are something to see. Tomorrow I will take pictures for all to see and feel the awe that I feel every morning I walk thru it. It truly is amazing!

this is not what i have gathered from my garden, but it is how i feel its coming along!!

Next, my son, the little boy who holds my heart, has had some life changing mile stones happen since we last met. He is walking. He is drinkin moo-juice. He is one.

First Birthday Cake!!!

I will not lie and tell you that I am not sad about this. He is all I have asked for since I learned that I could bear children. While I do have AM, her daddy holds her heart. And since son and daddy’s birthdays are a week apart, this year I had a blow out party. It was huge. So big that I had several panic attacks leading up to my first glass of “Mommas Party Punch”. But, at the end of the day, I achieved the feeling I was looking for. I wanted Matt to know how special he is to me. I wanted my friends and family to be there to celebrate this time. I wanted magical. (There is that word again, I think it has to do with the 3 whipped vodka and Pepsi’s I have had tonight.) I set up Gazebos, put up white lights and decorated the shit out of my yard. I boiled 6 racks of ribs, and Matt bbq’d them to utter perfection. The beer was flowing and so was the good times. The only hitch was one person (who will go UN-named) took a few too many vodka shots and threatened my best friends husband and brother-in-law. It’s safe to say that Momma don’t put up with that shit.

And finally, I have been decluttering my house like Jesus him self-will come down to inspect. I even got the cupboards above the fridge. I used to have an empty fish tank sitting by my front door that over time became a “catch-all” if you will. It held everything from miscellaneous cords to fishing poles to toys that have been confiscated. Yes, it is gone. My daughter and son are down to a toy box each. My daughter sleeps in her CLEAN room. I am making real progress here. Y’all should be super proud of this momma.

 

So, again, to all you faithful readers, I am sorry that I have been MIA for quite some time. But it is safe to say that I am back-again. For now any way.

And tomorrow, please read about Matt’s injury and give me some advise as how to handle this!!

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

June 30, 2012

Pre-Party Fruit Experiment No. 1

by mommahasapottymouth

So we are doing a big party at my best friends house this year for the fourth. I am planning to do something over the top in terms of the liquor department. Right now I am in the process of conducting an experiment with strawberries and Tequila Rose. Here is whats goin on in my fridge at the moment:

I bought 2 big things of strawberries from the grocery store today. My children love them, and I am going to try to get them alcoholic. I only had half a bottle of Tequila left so I figured what the hell, let’s try.

I found the smallest softest berries and cut the stems off, and just the tip of the end. Then I took my paring knife and took out just a tad of the core out. I tossed them in to a bowl with a tight fitting lid and poured the Tequila right over top. I will leave it in the fridge over night, and check things out. I expect that they will no longer be a brilliant red color but instead a light pink. I figure that they will be good and soaked and, what ever Tequila is left I will be able to make a drink out of. Win in my book.

If this goes the way I hope it will, I plan to make a big platter of these along with a keg of sorts watermelon. This is what I will do.

I have to buy more than one watermelon because children will be present and they all love watermelon. Cant have the children eating my treats, right?? I will cut a small portion of the top off

click for credit

and try to get some of the pulp loosened up. Then I am going to pour in a nice amount of straight Vodka. I will replace the lid and let it sit in my fridge until the liquid is absorbed. Then I am going to take another type of liquor (I was thinking coconut rum, but coconut and watermelon?? weird in my book.) maybe a strawberry or some type of fruit schnapps or vodka and dump another generous amount. I will replace the lid and let it sit untill the party starts. My plan for the party is to scoop the pulp that is loose in to cups and serve that. Once the pulp is gone, I plan to cut it up and pass it out to eat.

So does my plan sound stupid?? Gross? Would you change any thing in the recipe? Have you tried any of this? How did it turn out??

June 17, 2012

A Letter To My Husband

by mommahasapottymouth

We may not be legally married, but damn it, we may as well be. I don’t think that he hears positive things coming from me to often, and I think that is sad. I should be telling him how much he means to me on a regular basis, not just holidays and birthdays.

My Love,

                 Gosh! Its been so long since I have written to you, it almost feels strange. I’m sorry for that. Today, I realised that I do not say and show you how much I appreciate you very often. I need to change that.

            If someone where to tell me  almost 8 years ago that we would be here to-day raising 2 beautiful babies, I would have laughed in their face. I didn’t really have you pegged as the “daddy-type.” Imagine how surprised I was after AM came home with us? You have the natural “nurture” instinct in you that makes you so amazing. Both of those babies look at you with such love, sometimes, it leaves me a bit jealous. If anyone can say that they were blessed with a man who left them speechless and fulfilled with love, its me. Just watching you with them makes everything worth it. Thank you for being the daddy I have always hope to have for my babies.

              And us!! Look how far we have come! I will admit that we have had some very dark days, but I think that the happy days out number the dark ones. I know we have made mistakes and can not change the past, but I also think we have made some really great decisions together as well. I can tell you, there is no other man who loves me or ever has loved me the way that you do. We may not be romantic, and most days we don’t have our shit together, but we mesh well. We fit together like a puzzle. I couldn’t ask for anything more, because if you ask me, I have everything I have ever wanted and needed. I am truly blessed, and I have you to thank for that.

        If someone would ask me about the future, there is only one thing that I could bet my last breath on, and its that I will always want and need you. I want to grow old with you. I can see us as that cute old couple walking slow and holding hands. I can see us sitting on the porch drinking iced tea and eating pb&j sandwiches. In the last almost 8 years, I can say that the love I feel for you has only grown stronger. And as we have grown as individuals we have grown together. I know what makes you tick. I also know what food to cook when I must have a peace-offering. I know how you feel about most of the hot topics, and, I know what I have to do if you can’t sleep. I know you, it seems, better than I know myself. I always know how the situation will end, as it begins.

         The only thing I hope for us, is that we continue down the road we are on. I know they say nothing is perfect, and I can almost agree. The bickering, joking and rough housing is what makes this perfect to me. I can not imagine who I would be if you had not entered my life, and stayed by my side when EVERYONE in your corner told you to go. I know I am the most difficult person, and I understand that I am needy. But babe, the only thing I need is what I have.

                                                     With All My Love Always,

Windy

I know its corny and long-winded. But I needed to write that. Even if he will never read this, every word is true.

I love him!

 

June 5, 2012

Mommas Biscuits and Gravey, and a Light Dessert!

by mommahasapottymouth

Wow, lately I am on a food roll. I think I have been posting more food related posts than anything. Sorry about that to y’all who came to hear me rant or bitch. Anyway, tonight I made an awesome from scratch dinner and changed up a recipe I got from my best friend to suit my needs for a cake. I want y’all to try them if you get the chance.

 

For the dinner you will need:

Sausage (don’t use the breakfast kind. The hot may work, but I used plain ol’ regular Jimmy Dean.)

Garlic and Pepper Seasoning

Chili powder

Flour ( I used Silk Cake Flour, and I couldn’t have hoped it turned out so well)

Butter ( you guys know me by now)

Milk

Fresh ground pepper corn (additional to the garlic and pepper mix)

Biscuits  (OK, I will admit my biscuit skills are way below par, but, Pillsbury’s are right up there with granny right??)

 

First, brown the meat, and do not drain the fat. Add some butter to the pot (oh yeah use a non stick pot for this) and melt completely. After start adding (slowly) some flour, and brown it. I like mine thick so I probley added about a 1/4 cup)  This step is critical for the right turn out. Before adding more flour to the pan, make sure the stuff in the pot is already browned. Don’t let it stick to the bottom.

After you have added the right amount of flour to your meat and butter mix, slowly whisk in milk. Remember, It’s easier to thin something out then to keep trying to thicken it up. The longer you wish and cook, the thicker it will be.

Taste and serve over warm biscuits!!

 

Now for the cake.

You need:

Angel food cake ( yes I am lazy. I bought mine pre made.)

Jello ( I used black cherry, but I think any berry type would taste great)

1 cup boiling water

Berry preserves ( I used a 3 berry mix boysenberry, raspberry and blackberry)

Softened Cool Whip in the tub. ( don’t get the flavored kind. Yuck!!)

 

Poke semi large holes in the top of your angel food cake. Set on a jelly pan.

Boil water and completely dissolve jello. Pour mix over cake. Immediately put cake to cool in fridge. At least 2 hours. (Don’t worry, the jello wont make anything soggy)

After the jello has set, spread a thinnish layer of preserves on top of the jello. Allow to cool in fridge again for 1/2 hour.

Now spread the whole cake with cool whip.

Enjoy!

 

If you change anything to either, let me know. I love to try new things!!

June 4, 2012

Mommas Stir Fry

by mommahasapottymouth

 

Mmm, I made some delicious stir fry the other night. It was so yummy I have to share it with y’all!!

 

 

I didn’t measure any thing. I never do.

 

You need:

Kielbasa Sausage

2 cloves Garlic

Butter

Soy Sauce

Orange Juice

Curry Powder

Honey

Veggies (I like the kind that has green beans and peas in them, but I am sure any frozen kind would work)

Pepper

Cornstarch

Water

Chilli powder

Cooked rice

How to do it:

Slice the sausage and mince the garlic. Toss into a pan with the butter (enough to lightly brown the sausage)

After the butter is completely melted, add 2 parts orange juice to one part soy sauce. Drizzle honey (don’t be shy with the honey. It wont be too sweet.) Cook until sauce is warmed thru. Remove the meat.

Toss the veggies into the sauce and add a tad more butter. (Ha ha I love butter. I know I am going to hurt my self in the long run, but this is my vice, so don’t judge me) Sprinkle the curry powder ( this is one spice you don’t want to go way over board with. Start with a pinch and work your way into more if you need it.) and the chili powder (again, just start with a pinch) and a dash more of the juice and soy sauce. Add a smidgen more of the honey and cover until the veggies are tender.(Turn the heat down a bit too.)

 

While this is cooking mix a little corn starch and cold water up. (No clumps silly) When the veggies are tender, add the meat back to the pan and add the corn starch, a little at a time. Bring to a boil and stir. Lower the heat back down and cover.

Serve over rice!!

 

May 31, 2012

Coffee is the secret!!

by mommahasapottymouth

Today I am making two things, well three if you want to count dessert. So, I want to share the chili first. It’s so tasty!

You will need:

Ground meat (I always use burger, but turkey may work too)

Canned beans ( I love beany chili, so I use three or four: pinto kidney and sometimes black)

Tomato’s ( canned when fresh is not available) diced. (don’t drain them)

Beef broth ( I like the kind with gelatin added, but any kind works. I also use the Knorr concentrated beef broth packets)

amazing!!

Orageno

Cummin ( I tend to use a lot, and taste while I go)

Chili powder (see above )

Chopped Onion

Minced Garlic

Cold coffee (like from this morning that you didn’t use)

Rice or corn bread, cooked as package directed. (normally I use rice, tonight it will be fresh corn bread)

Shredded Cheese

( on a side note, my DH loves to make this dish, but he does not use the same ingredients. Basicly, its meat beans and hot hot peppers.)

What to do:

Brown and drain fat from meat.

Chop onions and tomatoes (if fresh)

Add onions tomatoes and garlic to meat. Cook until onions are soft.

Add Coffee and beef broth.

Stir in tomato’s and canned beans.

Add oregano and cummin to taste, along with chili powder.

Simmer until thick. (I continue to add spices during this phase. Taste your food as you go. Only draw back is you may not be hungry when dinner is ready)

Serve topped with cheese, over rice or with a side of corn bread.

ENJOY!

May 30, 2012

Mommas Back!

by mommahasapottymouth

So this has been a very productive week for me, hence the no activity! So before I add a few posts, Id like to update y’all on what I’ve been doing.

Starting Friday, I worked my ass off. Quite literally.

  • Took my monster sized baby to the doc, and he is a wooping 26 lbs and 32 inches tall. Yeah, he’s only 9 months old. Oh he will be mammas little line backer!
  • Picked up my niece, Nana, which worked out so well.
  • Shoveled 3 truck loads of Garden Dirt. (AM  proudly announces to the entire neighborhood that its “poop dirt”). In case you are wondering, that is 1 1/2 yards each load.
  • Planted more of my garden,  in little pots with starter dirt. It’s supposed to help root development. Works well too.
  • Cleaned my yard. Like really cleaned it. Now we only look like hillbilly’s instead of rednecks. Rednecks with junk everywhere.

yes this is parked in my drive way. Its way bigger in real life though

  • Had a bon fire with all of the neighborhood kids. (5 boys from next door, one from across the street, my 2, my niece and the parents from next door. ) Yeah we roasted marshmallows.

  • Cleaned off my porch. No more trip hazard at this mammas house!
  • Did all the laundry. There was tons!
  • And today I finally cleaned AM’s room. That took 3 stinkin hours!

 

I plan to continue working outside this week. And clean (deep clean) my kitchen and go thru all my clothes and take anything that doesn’t fit down to the local thrift store. Then I have to re fold everything and find a spot to put it!

 

So, this is why I haven’t been on as of late. But never fear, Momma is back!

 

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