Archive for ‘kids’

January 21, 2013

When Kids WONT Eat

by mommahasapottymouth

Ahh…. the joys of parenting. When your precious little baby will eat anything you put in her mouth, relish in it. I promise you it will not last! In fact, about the time your angel turns 3, that will change.

I think when a kid is born, they are pre programmed for certain things. For instance, ONLY liking hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Gosh, my house is a nightmare when it comes to eating!! Take last night:

not my kid but this sums it up

I cut up pork and fried it in to little chunks. After I simmered it in some orange sauce. I also made rice to go with. I can not tell you how good it was. (OK I can, AH-MAZ-ING!!) But, AM is way to head strong to want try it. It was a battle untill bed time.

See normally I cook for an army, in the assumption that Matt is not the only on who is going to eat. And EVERY SINGLE night I end up throwing AM’s dinner out. Unless it is hot dogs chicken nuggets or pizza.

 

Frankly, I am fed up of feeding the Seagulls at the god damn dump. They eat better than most freakin dogs!

Last night was the first time I stuck to my guns, and did not make her something else. If she is hungry, she will eat. Right? But, with that in mind, how long does not giving in make sense? This morning I made english muffins and bacon. If given the chance, AM will eat a pound of bacon and nothing else. So, I gave her the muffin first and told her when she finishes that she can have some bacon. Well, I’ll tell you what she did, sneaky little shit:

Tore it in half. Ok, I can deal with that, maybe it was too big to hold or something. Then she sucked ( yes, you read that right. ) the butter out of it. So I am thinking however you go about eating it sweaty, and she picks up both halves and stretches, the food going to the god damn dog! She says ” Aw dang it! Buddy stole my food!!” Now, buddy is no saint, and he is known for doing this. Had I not seen it, the dog would have got an ass beating and she would have gotten bacon!

So there is no way I can be the only parent who is going thru this! Anyone knows what to do??  How long can I tell her no before I break??

January 16, 2013

Guns

by mommahasapottymouth

know your WordPress feed is full of Gun control and the second amendment, but I need to have my fair say.

(I am not going to say much on President Obama. But I will say this; and DO NOT confuse this for anything other than what I am actually saying. Also, please know that I am not really religious, although I do believe in a higher power. )

I while ago ( actually, just before Obama’s first term) I read an entire collection of books called “Left Behind”, and it talked about the Anti-Christ. How he was so smooth and charismatic. And how he can have you believing him with no effort. And then Obama entered our lives. Most of the nation was under his wonderful spell with the hopes of a better tomorrow.

But something had me holding back…. and soon my mind kept going back to the book.

Now, I am not actually calling our President the Anti-Christ. I am just saying that the similarities are quite, astounding.

Lets fast forward to our last Presidential race. Gun control was a hot button issue. Obama is very forward about how he feels and what he wants. I respect that. I, as a law-abiding citizen who is not a felon, do not want to be blind sided by false promises or beating around the bush.

Obama won, and is reinstated into office. That means that whether we agree or disagree, he is still our Commanding Officer. So lets  flash forward again, to about one month ago.

Sandy Hook elementary school. Many lives were lost, and it was an American tragedy. If you didn’t feel any emotion that day, you had no heart. AND then, the conspiracy theorist start. Let me say that I do not buy into that bull shit. NORMALY. But the video, well, now I do not know. I feel like the people who I have grown up believing wouldn’t be capable of a horrific act, well, where not being honest. (HA HA, honesty in D.C., what a joke right?)

But, now I am off topic. I don’t want to get into if it was an act, or if it was a true event.

Today, I sat down to watch the news. I cried. Not because of anything but what has happened to our wonderful country? What happened to the brave that we once where living amongst? Every other word out of Mr. Presidents mouth was “executive decision”. Almost like a threat. (this is what I heard, I am not saying this is actually what he said) ” If my country and my congress members do not like the Gun Control plan I have laid out, well too damn bad. I am President, and what I say goes!”

I did a little research. In another country, they banned guns. They (the people of that country) found other things that where just as deadly as the gun, and used that. (So, if we have a total ban, and people start using pots and pans as weapons, are we eventually going to have a ban on kitchen wear too?) Or in Seattle, we had a gun buy back some 20 years ago. Right after it finished, gun crimes tripled. WTF!

I guess what I am saying is that I feel like there is a bigger picture here that we are missing. Criminals do not follow laws. That is what makes them criminals. Even if we do end up with a total ban, I promise you there will be other ways they will obtain guns other ways. And if the government is successful in the quest, they will implement other weapons. Whats next??? A ban on biological weapons? Oh, right, yes there already is!

To finish this, I think that implementing the Universal Background checks is brilliant. Harsher laws? FUCKIN A! (but why are they not as harsh as they can be?) I also think that maybe a Universal list of potentially dangerous (but otherwise felony free) people, and people who are not in the mind-set to handle or operate a gun would be nice to see implemented. I also think that if you want to buy a gun, ANY gun, you should be required to go thru gun safety classes and prove that you are competent to own one. But taking them away?? Restricting what I can or can not own? Limiting the type of clip I can have?? Lets not!!

Now, if you will excess me, I need to go clean my AR!

(only kidding, I don’t have one yet!)

October 19, 2012

Turmoil

by mommahasapottymouth

I have been MIA for a while now because of home-grown emotional turmoil. I am at a loss at this point. So here is the deal:

We have lived in this house for something like 6 years now. We have had some Very great times, and some even GREATER bad times. To sum it up, we have been thru hell and back, a few times.

Now we are faced with losing our house. That doesnt really make me sad, just the circumstances around the way things went down. I know Matt has done everything that a girl could ask for, so not an ounce of this lies on him as failure to provide. There are others to blame here, but I will not point fingers.

Now, it is raining cats and dogs, starting to get cold and we need to find a new home that will accept our pets and his cars. Can y’all see the fun in that??

Oh and I am not sure if anyone has ever had the DIS-pleasure of living with an in law, but that possibility is looking more and more like the solution. And it’s not that I am not grateful for the help (ha ha) it’s just that I am not looking forward to being a prisoner in someone else home. Locked up tighter than an inmate, being told how to cook and clean, and when and what I can watch on TV (that is in my name btw).  My parents will never come to visit because they dislike the other parent more than I do (if that is even possible) .

If that is not bad, here is what is worse. I know I sound absolutely crazy right now, so please just bear with me. I am pretty sure that some how my phone is tapped. I have had numerous conversations that you would either have to be a part of or listing to know what was said. But, on those occasions word for word of those conversations have been repeated back to me. I have no clue as to how or why, but I know I am not crazy. (OK maybe a little.) And I have no way to prove this, or have a private conversation.

Well gotta go. Hes here.

August 27, 2012

Oh So Much To Tell!!!

by mommahasapottymouth

So much to update, where the hell do I begin?? I have a justifiable reason for not blogging as often as I was. It was hot. Real hot. OK, not good enough? Fine. I was spending time with my kids. Still not good enough?? OK here is the real truth. My internet was slow and I was lazy. Those days my friend are gone. I am once again back.

this sums it up. got it and all pictures from bing!

First of all, my garden is my little patch of magic. I don’t think there is any other way to explain the way I feel about it. I started it with the intention of showing my daughter the changes from seed to seedling to plant to food or flower. Now, though it is just my sanctuary. Any one who sees it comments on how well it looks. And my petunias are something to see. Tomorrow I will take pictures for all to see and feel the awe that I feel every morning I walk thru it. It truly is amazing!

this is not what i have gathered from my garden, but it is how i feel its coming along!!

Next, my son, the little boy who holds my heart, has had some life changing mile stones happen since we last met. He is walking. He is drinkin moo-juice. He is one.

First Birthday Cake!!!

I will not lie and tell you that I am not sad about this. He is all I have asked for since I learned that I could bear children. While I do have AM, her daddy holds her heart. And since son and daddy’s birthdays are a week apart, this year I had a blow out party. It was huge. So big that I had several panic attacks leading up to my first glass of “Mommas Party Punch”. But, at the end of the day, I achieved the feeling I was looking for. I wanted Matt to know how special he is to me. I wanted my friends and family to be there to celebrate this time. I wanted magical. (There is that word again, I think it has to do with the 3 whipped vodka and Pepsi’s I have had tonight.) I set up Gazebos, put up white lights and decorated the shit out of my yard. I boiled 6 racks of ribs, and Matt bbq’d them to utter perfection. The beer was flowing and so was the good times. The only hitch was one person (who will go UN-named) took a few too many vodka shots and threatened my best friends husband and brother-in-law. It’s safe to say that Momma don’t put up with that shit.

And finally, I have been decluttering my house like Jesus him self-will come down to inspect. I even got the cupboards above the fridge. I used to have an empty fish tank sitting by my front door that over time became a “catch-all” if you will. It held everything from miscellaneous cords to fishing poles to toys that have been confiscated. Yes, it is gone. My daughter and son are down to a toy box each. My daughter sleeps in her CLEAN room. I am making real progress here. Y’all should be super proud of this momma.

 

So, again, to all you faithful readers, I am sorry that I have been MIA for quite some time. But it is safe to say that I am back-again. For now any way.

And tomorrow, please read about Matt’s injury and give me some advise as how to handle this!!

July 23, 2012

Its A Mommas World, The Rest Of You Just Live Here

by mommahasapottymouth

Its true. If you are not a Momma, you just exist. I don’t mean that to be rude, but Jeez, look around you! Oh, you need examples do ya? Well, turn on the damn boob tube!

It makes me sick to think that fathers get no attention. The dads that are there every day get no special slogans or media attention. They get no outstanding thanks. Because in society, only mommas can love and nurture their young. BULL SHIT!!

Yeah right!

Today I can not tell you all the commercials and ads for the mommas out there. But I can tell you how many I seen for daddy. One, and it wasn’t even remarkable, so I can not tell you what it was for. Lets break down the ones that I do know of, and y’all can add to them if I miss any:

Jiff Peanut butter: “Because choosy moms chose Jiff!”

Yep I just found this stupid sign! click for credit

To Their Moms, They Will Always Be Kids (P&G)

The new Motts Commercial

The Kleenex one aboutGetmommed.com”

Kid Tested, Mother Approved Kix Cereal.

 

That is all I can think of right now. But I do know there is more. Its sick and sad.

After I talked to Matt about writing this post, he did point out that I only notice the momma commercials because I am a momma. He has noticed a few daddy ones and thought it would be nice to include them too. So here is what he remembers:

A Jiff commercial about “Choosy Dads chose Jiff” (I can tell you I do not recall this)

The commercial about the little girl who is going driving and the dad is giving her a talk and suddenly she turns into a big girl. ( again I recall it but it must not have been that great if I can not for the life of me remember what they where advertising for)

Cheerios did one about a kid and his dad. (no recelation)

And finally the Huggies commercial where every time the dad opens his sons diaper the kid starts fire hosing the place. (this one I do remember, and I loved it)

 

I realize looking at my list that they seem relatively even, but they are not. I just can not think right now to get a good amount of examples for the mom side. I think y’all can help!! But what I would really like to know is does it matter to you? If you are a parent, do you care whether advertising companies give more air time to one parent rather than the other? Does it change how you purchase or what you purchase?? I know when I am shopping, it’s what I need and how much it’s going to cost me that matters the most. ( Some things though I do not care what the cost is, if they are tried and true that is all that matters to me) Commercials and ads do not really matter to me as much as prices and quality.

 

 

July 20, 2012

This Potty Training Stuff Is For The Birds!

by mommahasapottymouth

Ugh! My daughter will be 4 in December and she still wears diapers at night!! I am sick to death of this! I imagined life with a 3-year-old much differently, to say it nicely.

I thought I had the day time stuff figured out, I really did. Then, last week she started peeing her pants during the day, sometimes right in front of the toilet. I know I know, maybe she just gets too immersed in her play and doesn’t realize it until it is way too late. Well, I am sick to death of that shit!

While I do not believe in punishment for an accident, there is a thin line this little girl is tip toeing on. When I was a little girl, before my momma married my daddy, she was married to this mean son of a bitch. He used to beat the snot outta her. One long night I peed the bed and I remember him grabbing me outta my top bunk and beating my ass. I will never be that kind of parent. But I also get the frustration that comes with this territory.

When my daughter learned to walk ( actually it was running she learned first, and it was at 7 months old) she also learned to take off her diaper. She hated it. Then she learned to pee on the carpet shortly after. We got her a potty seat and she wouldn’t go near it. Then she turned 2, and it was the magical number. My niece Nana was out for a few days and we took the little potty EVERY WHERE! Out side to play? Check! In the living room to watch cartoons? Check! If AM was there, so was her potty. Since we live a fair distance from everything, (grocery stores, the doctor’s office, my parents) we always just put her in a diaper when we left the house. One day my best friend told me to tell her no more diapers in the car, she would have to tell me when she needed to go. It worked. We have never looked back.

But, try as I might, I can not get my girl potty trained for bed. Some mothers brag about they left a diaper off their kid and instantly there was no accidents. Well I can tell y’all that doesn’t work with this kid. Oh, did I mention that she also takes it off in her sleep and climbs into bed with momma and daddy? Yes sir. Then we get peed on. Its great.

I have tried to reason with her. I have tried cutting down liquids at night. I have all together taken away liquids after dinner save a few sips if she is thirsty. I have tried waking her up in the night. What am I missing??? Can it be that my beautiful little daughter will have to remember to put her diaper on before bed on her wedding night???? God save me now!!

If you have kids, and you have conquered this long and frustrating step, do you feel like sharing your knowledge with this helpless momma?? And please save the “Oh my god! My little one did it all on their own!! At 1 years old!!” I could care less, to be honest.

July 18, 2012

What Has This Country Come To??

by mommahasapottymouth

Let me start by saying that I love my country just as much as the next guy. But the way I have been treated lately has me less than happy.

First of all, my loving DH is doing everything he can to let me stay home with our babies. He works grave yard at a mill. He busts his ass 10 – 12 hours a day to provide for us. Sometimes, we can’t make ends meet. Sometimes, we need help.

Because we are not legally married, I am not covered under his insurance, but my kids are. They are double covered, by him and by Medicaid. Yep, I am one of those that gets help from the government. Hey, guess what? I also receive food stamps. Do y’all have a problem with that?? Get the fuck off my blog if you do.

I had medical coverage from Washington State while I was pregnant, and it will cover me untill my youngest is 5, or until I get married or go to work. (Again, if you don’t like it, quit reading.) Let me say how thankful I am to be able to receive the help that I need. It has been a little bitter-sweet though.

When you are grocery shopping with Food Stamps, you get a different kind of service, I don’t care where you shop. They look at you like you are the scum of the earth. But, even if I was working full-time, I would not be able to feed my family the way I can now. Day care is another story entirely. I would be working to pay someone to take care of my babies. Not to save for our first home, or my children’s college. Nope, just so they can be taken care of 8 – 10 hours a day.

Any way, it gets worse if you or your kids have state provided medical. Doctors treat you like dogs, and sometimes worse. Hospitals are the worst, and as much as they try, they do not make you feel welcome. I feel like I have been branded with a big fat red Medicade stamp right on my forehead. I will give credit, though, to my children’s Pediatrician (if you live anywhere near Tacoma Wa, and are looking for a doctor for your children, contact me, he is the most amazing doctor I have ever met. ) Dr. O. He has never once treated me or them any different from any other patient.

Which brings me to this. For the last little while ( actually since I came back from the road trip with my MIL) I have been dealing with a terrible ear problem. It is way worse than giving birth, and way more intense. I have been in and out of my Dr’s office, with the same thing ” Here are your antibiotics, you will feel better in a few days.” It has been 3 (yes sir count ’em) rounds of antibiotics, with ZERO relief. (Its getting worse daily.) Finally they get my insurance to approve me to go to a specialist, and I went in yesterday feeling like the light at the end of the tunnel was so close I could feel the heat. PSH! I was wrong.

It is a newer practice, and the Dr is not from these parts. He was a kind guy, that wanted to ease my anxiety (do ya think they could cover the damn table with all the tools?) and came in asking about my family. I did not relax, however, because I knew he was going to touch my ear. To be fair, he did the best he could. He told me what I knew, the canal is so swollen he couldn’t see anything, and stuck something in there and scrapped the inside of my ear and pulled out something that hurt so bad. He than did the hearing and pressure test and checked out my voice box and nasal cavities.

He than told me I have to see a dentist before any other treatment can be done. I looked at him and more tears came flooding. How am I going to see a dentist when it took me so long to be able to see him??? He said that the slightly broken tooth had to be removed to eliminate that as the pain causer. Never in my life have I cried to a doctor about anything that is not medically relevent. I left his office after he told me that he wants to do a MRI or CT of that side of my head, to further eliminate any other potitional problems, but my insurance denied it as bein not medically necessary. I walked out in tears.

So here I am, crying like a baby from all the pain and frustration. I get what some of you will say (go to fucking work you lazy bitch) but it’s just not a possibility at this time. I have no clue how to tell Matt that I need a crazy amount of money so I can get my ear fixed by having that tooth pulled. My insurance does cover “Emergency Extractions” but they declare that this is not an Emergency.

I will stop bitchin for now, but I will leave y’all with this: what will it take to get me better? Drink a bottle of Tequila and pull the tooth my self so I can go back to the ENT and maybe get my ear taken care of?? I can attest to this: Pain makes people delirious and do stupid things. If I can’t get the help I need without causing bodily harm, what am I supposed to do?  I CAN NOT go on with this much longer.

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

June 26, 2012

It Takes A Village

by mommahasapottymouth

I am reaching out here. In hopes that someone else is going thru what I am. I  am at my breaking point with my little princess, and I honestly do not know how much more I can take.

Before any of y’all call me a bad mother, remember that I have exhausted every avenue in discipline I can think of ( hence the fact that I am reaching out for help now) and nothing has worked.

So far, I have tried taking things away (example; when AM does not pick up her toys when it is time, I take them away). I have tried reasoning with her ( this is like arguing with the captain of the Debate team) I have tried a swat on the ass ( not a beating, but a touch to let her know I mean business, in which she laughs off) I have tried sending her to her room ( she always finds something to do in there so it’s not really a punishment) and I have tried time out. I am all out of options, and she is wining!

I can not live in a house where the three-year old child runs the show. Daddy doesn’t get to witness much of the things she does, because he works graveyard and has to sleep all day. Its her way, or everyone will pay for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl. I think she is the most intelligent little girl I have ever met. But that is not always a good thing. She out smarts me, and is very sneaky. She knows the words to use to get her way, every time. And she knows that she is cute and works it to her advantage.

Most times it just makes me white-hot mad. Other times, it is mortifying to hear the things she says or see the things she does. Just today, she told me she was going to shoot me in the face. She has never heard me or Matt threaten to shoot anyone! I have no clue where this is coming from!!

Pretty Please?

So, from one parent to many others, does any one have any advise?? Is my child lost forever? Is it too late to change her ways? Or, will she end up one of those mean girls??

(If you are going to bash me or my daughter in any way, don’t even try to comment. I also do not need help from someone who doesn’t even have kids, but thank you anyway!)

June 20, 2012

When I Think About Doing Things…. I Do Them!

by mommahasapottymouth

So I have been off the grid the past few days, doing a little research for my upcoming post about fleas and ticks. Anyway, I have had nothing “post worthy” to add, so I decided not to waste anyones time. That is, untill tonight.

As y’all my little princess has  been driving me nuts lately, with her attitude ( yes, she gets that from ME) and plain mean girl ways. And today was no exception. She woke up all pissy. I didn’t make bacon so that made her grumpy. Daddy wanted to watch something he recorded last night, she was not happy about it. I wanted to wait until at least the sun was up before we went outside. Really the list goes on

Click for credit

And this my friends, is where it ended tonight:

I put her in the bath and my mother in law called. I turned off her water and stepped into the kitchen to clean up a bit. I checked on her to make sure all was good. Then I went out to stand on the porch. About 10 minuets later, I went in to check on her. Well much to my surprise, all was NOT! The water was running. I hung up on my mother in law and went berserk.

click for credit

 My words where ” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS FOR?? WHY THE HELL IS THE WATER ON??”  She replied (caught off guard, and quiet shocked that I did not find this to be the very best thing that has ever happened in our home, judging by the look on her face.) “I didn’t do it!” I shut off the water and ran to our door, busted in on Matt, shouted ” HONEY!! DONT COME OUT HERE WE HAVE A BIG SITUATION!” ( yes because yelling at the top of my lungs to not follow me to the bathroom has always worked in my favor) He asked what happened and I told him that “HIS” daughter (childish I know) flooded our bathroom. I have never seen him move so fast!

He looked in, was speechless ( in all honesty, this was the best reaction. I already flipped out) and then asked very calmly “Bug, why did you do this?”(ok so this did make me a tad mad) And you you know what her reply was?

“MOMMA DID IT!”

WHAT????

 Are you joking me? So I chimed in, ” No I didn’t!” ( we sounded like little teenage girls) To which she replied, :” The water turned on by its self!” And her dear daddy ( really he must be a saint because he was so damn calm) stated that “Baby, water just doesnt turn its self on.” And then she said ( ugh I just threw my hands up)

” UGH DADDY! When I think about doing things, I just do them!”

Well if that is not the understatement of the god damn year.

When did my beautiful little girl turn into such a monster?? Maybe the Zombies have already started, and she is one of them???

Seriously the water was up to my ankles and out in the hall. I have no towels left to take a shower my self, and when I made JR’s bottle, he had to have cold water, because his wonderful sister decided my floor needed all the warm.

I guess the one good thing is that now I no longer need to mop the bathroom floor, and that entire end of the house smells like Baby Magic.

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