Posts tagged ‘outdoors’

September 3, 2012

Easy Now… Easy

by mommahasapottymouth

Wow. A lot of strange things have happened yesterday. More specifically, last night. And today, I have this uneasy feeling in my gut.

After the kids went to sleep last night (and almost every other night that it has been warm) I sat on the porch and read. I had the little dog with me on his leash and Natas was laying by my feet.  In the midst of reading a really good part of the book, heard a VERY loud noise. I thought it was a dog barking in my drive way. I tossed the cats in the house, along with Natas, and sat to listen. It was so loud!!! It soon became apparent that it was something in the bird family. RIGHT above my porch about 25 feet up. I could not see it, so I was beginning to wonder if I was hearing things. My neighbors from across the street came out and I asked if I was hearing things. I think my exact words where “Please tell me I am not hearing things and you hear that too.” Yes, they did. Above the TV and washer. Like I said, REAL LOUD.

They tried to spot it with a flash light with no luck. So I asked what it was. He said Owl. “But that aint no Owl I ever heard before.” Way to make me feel better guy.

Now I don’t know if I am remembering what I want to, but I could swear that hearing an Owl was a bad omen. Great just what I need.

If I where to see this from the trees, I promise you I would pee on my self

After it stopped hooting, I came back out to smoke before bed. I always take buddy ( he thinks he is a pit bull-rot-shepard but the truth is my son weighs more and my daughter scares me more) when I go sit on the porch, because he barks. I was reading and a little in to the book when his ears perked up. Then he stands up and lunges at the stairs. Yep, I tossed my lit cigarette on to the dry porch steps and hauled ass inside.

So now today I am left with that gut wrenching anxiety. The kind where you just know something bad is going to happen.

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

June 30, 2012

Fleas and Ticks and Mosquitos, OH MY!

by mommahasapottymouth

The weather is getting warmer everywhere and that means our fur babies are getting bugs, and I think this year is going to be bad.

I had never seen a tick before this year, and let me tell you they are ugly little fuckers!

know the difference!

We have dealt with fleas since we have had Buddy. It seems to me that dogs with lighter longer hair are more appetizing to fleas then those with darker shorter hair. I could be wrong though. And believe me, after you have them, its like pulling teeth trying to get rid of them!!

I myself have  tried everything! From bombs to the vacuuming to do-it-your-self. On my pets, I have found Revolution Drops seem to work for all of my dogs. Nothing I have found works well with my cats, so I am still searching. And, along with that, I am looking for something for that damn rabbit as well.

I have been doing a lot of research on this topic in the last week now, starting at night and stopping at bed time. I have come across a lot of very good information. I am including links to all the sites I found “visit worthy” and I encourage you to check them out.

The main reason I wanted to share this with y’all is because if any of you are like me, your pets are part of your family. Since April or so, I have pulled off at least 100 ticks off my girl Sissy. Once a vivacious dog, and well on the fat side, is now tired and skinny. I know it is because she is litterly being eaten alive. I am doing everything in my power to bring her back up to top-notch health. So I thought Id share with you what her Vet told me.

To remove a tick you will need sharp-pointed tweezers, a shallow dish or cup, rubbing alcohol and an antibiotic ointment (think Neosporin)

1. Get as close to the skin as possible and grab the tick by the head, gently pulling up and away from the dog.

2. If you do not get the head (and trust me, sometimes, it happens) leave it ALONE!! Do not pick at it or try to get it out. This may cause infection. After it dries up, it will surface like a pimple and be able to be removed.

3. Put Tick in to cup or dish and cover with rubbing alcohol. Do not flush or pop. Flushing will not kill it, and could come back up the pipes. Popping or squeezing it could cause your to come in contact with several diseases. Drowning it is the only way to safely destroy it.

4. Dab a bit of the antibiotic ointment on the site of the tick and leave alone!

He also told me that you should never hold a hot match up to the ticks ass, as this could cause it to burrow deeper, making removal harder. (Not to mention cause possible burns, I would think). The same can be said with covering it with petroleum Jelly, so don’t do it!! Check out the link below from the ASPCA on this!

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-care-tips/how-to-remove-a-tick-from-your-pet.aspx

As for fleas, just because you kill off the ones off the pets does not mean your problem ends there. There is an entire cycle you have to go thru before they are all gone.

 

A few years back we had a bad flea infestation. Matt bought borax and sprinkled it on the carpets and swept it in. We waited to vacuum for a few days, and repeated the process. Borax acts as a dehydrate for fleas. It dry them out. We did this every other day, for what seemed like a few months.

I have read though that you can do this once every 2 weeks for a few months to rid your home of fleas. Here is a picture of the flea life cycle, and a better way to understand how hard it is to kill the bastards.

I have also heard other remedies that help control fleas. I have tried Brewers Yeast, and while my dogs love love love it, the only difference that I noticed is that their coats become more oily. I have heard about adding garlic to their diets, but my dogs will not go near anything that smell like garlic. I have also heard really good things about Diotamaceous Earth. While I have not tried it, I have done my research on it. I know there are two different kinds of it, and the one you have to use on pets must be food grade. It is like the Borax as far as I can tell, and dries them out. If anyone has tried this method I would be interested in finding out how well it worked and what you did.

 

The bottom line is that this year is supposed to be hotter than normal. With that means our pets are at a higher risk of fleas and ticks (and Mosquito’s) and we as pet owners must do what we can to protect them. I encourage you to look into the matter and take a course of action that you feel is best for you and your family. .

Facts:

Mosquitos carry heart worm disease

Fleas can lead to tapeworms

Ticks can transmit diseases like Lyme and Rockie Mountain Spotted Fever to humans

One flea can lay up to 50 eggs a day

Ticks feed for 24 to 48 hours

Ticks lay 100 eggs at a time

Fleas consume 15 times their body weight in blood

 

 

 

 

June 16, 2012

As We Grow Up, I think We Grow Apart

by mommahasapottymouth

My family, I tell ya, has been through shit. I mean that very tenderly too, because most of the time, if I have the problem, they all have the problem. We are dysfunctional and hardly ever see eye to eye. We will always call bull shit, and be the first to point out a flaw. But, the essence of my family is that deep down, we are not just children and parents, or siblings. We are friends. I consider my momma to be one of my very best friends. I will not lie to y’all. Its taken about 21 (give or take) years to perfect it, and we still argue all the time. But, she is the first person I call when I am losing the battle with my lovely daughter, or when I have gossip that MUST be shared. With that said…

 

I am not going to call this person out, that may just be rude, and I am pretty sure my daddy would not approve of that, (I know your reading this and thinking ” oh lord! please get her to shut up before she tells some deep dark family secret” right daddy? Dont worry. ) But, I will say this. I think that it is so sad that someone who shares no blood relations with me or my children knows my children better than someone who does. I needed that person so many times through out my life, and, unless there was something in it for them, they wouldn’t come to my aid. I think they even told me (and I quote) “You’re fucking stupid Marlene. Why would you have a baby?” Same person said the same thing when I had my son. Didnt even bother to visit me after I had them.

I understand that my house is further away then the rest of my close-knit family. But see, the road that I have to take to come visit you also runs right back to my door step. Amazing how things work huh? I can count the number of times I have seen or spoke to them this year. It’s a pretty low number. Lower than 10.

So if you are reading this, and feel like you are the guilty party, I can assure you, you’re right. If you don’t want us in your life because we don’t fit your life style, well that is ok. But, when your gut starts telling you that maybe you need to make amends with me, please, either save your breath and paper, or make it worth my while. I am done waiting for you to decide to be apart of my children’s life.

June 13, 2012

I Think This Means WAR!

by mommahasapottymouth

If you are the animal lover that is against hunting and all that CRAP, please just skip this post.

I am going on a damn rampage tonight. Here is why:

We moved into this house almost 7 years ago. At first, we had no “noxious animal” problem. Then, the herd came. Out of the god damn wood work (and I mean that in all ways, I live on top of a small mountain) came swarms of raccoons. Awww…

click for image credit

At first, they where so cute. It was sweet to watch them (especially the families) come to the yard and scavenge for food. My neighbor bitch thinks it’s a good idea to feed them. So the natural sense to flee when humans are near has vanished. It got so bad, I had to start to bringing the day old bread home from work, just so I could get out of the car and haul ass to the door. I swear that they could hear my car 10 miles down the road and say to all their distant relatives to “come on over to the house, she wont get out of the car without food!”

click for image credit

One time my niece NS and my sister Missy, where out side and the little vermin started charging (I so wish I was making this shit up) them for their chips. Another time, (the LAST straw) Matt was out-of-town for the night and I went out to smoke. One little guy was on the porch. He started getting closer and closer. Instinct said to grab the nearest thing (a Tiki torch, unlit) and protect one’s self. Ha ha. He took one look at me and (again, not making this up) REACHED UP AND TOOK THE DAMN TORCH!! After that, I smoked in the bathroom out the window when Matt was not home.

I wont go into how they stopped coming around. That may hurt someones feelings on here. But, for the last three years, I can count on one hand how many have been back, and have fingers to spare.

 

Well, for the last 2 nights I have been trapped in my home, by Grandfather River. The little bastard knocked over my dog food bin, (50 lbs) and ate it right out my window. My poor dogs had to witness this horrible crime. Well, last night I figured that I could scare him off by opening the front door and locking the screen door, with my dogs standing at the door. The fucker walked up, stood on his hind legs, swatted at the door and hissed at my dogs.

OK. I figured that there had to be a way to get him off the porch. I grabbed the BB gun and opened the bathroom window, and blindly started firing at the son of a bitch. I didn’t even come close.

But the worst part is today. Me and the kids spent a good part of the day outside. I kept hearing the bushes on the Green Belt on the back of the property. I at first thought it was a bird or a cat. No biggie. But, I was so wrong. It kept stalking back and forth all day. Finally it caught AM’s attention, and I had enough. I grabbed a rock and tossed it. PSH! Nothing. I kept at it. Finally I spotted a foot, and as soon as I looked away for my next rock, I lost the damn thing!! I finally gave up and warned the neighbor to be careful walking her old dog (poor guy wouldn’t know he was near a coon ’til he was on top of one) and went home.

Right after Matt leaves for work, I hear a crash outside and I’ll be damned. HE IS BACK EATING THE DOG FOOD!! Taking his sweet ass time too. Sneaky little fucker.

HE HAS TO GO!!

 

It turns out I think I would look great in a coonskin hat

May 31, 2012

Please Help Me Find A Solution!!

by mommahasapottymouth

OK, I am in desperate need of some help here. I have an ant problem. Sugar ants to be exact. And with all the information out there, I am a little overwhelmed.

 

I put out 4 small little ant bait things, supposed to kill in 24 hours. Yeah freakin right. Mind you, these 4 little trap things were placed about 8 feet apart. 2 on each end.

save your self the money and DON’T buy these!

 

My daughter is convinced they are spiders, and has been having little panic attacks every night before bed and every morning when she wakes up. I can no longer take it. I am willing to do anything to rid myself of these things!!

 

If you have ever had this problem, I am BEGGING you to lend me your advise. If you are going to comment with something mean, please save your self the time and just don’t comment at all!!

 

PLEASE HELP!!

May 30, 2012

Mommas Back!

by mommahasapottymouth

So this has been a very productive week for me, hence the no activity! So before I add a few posts, Id like to update y’all on what I’ve been doing.

Starting Friday, I worked my ass off. Quite literally.

  • Took my monster sized baby to the doc, and he is a wooping 26 lbs and 32 inches tall. Yeah, he’s only 9 months old. Oh he will be mammas little line backer!
  • Picked up my niece, Nana, which worked out so well.
  • Shoveled 3 truck loads of Garden Dirt. (AM  proudly announces to the entire neighborhood that its “poop dirt”). In case you are wondering, that is 1 1/2 yards each load.
  • Planted more of my garden,  in little pots with starter dirt. It’s supposed to help root development. Works well too.
  • Cleaned my yard. Like really cleaned it. Now we only look like hillbilly’s instead of rednecks. Rednecks with junk everywhere.

yes this is parked in my drive way. Its way bigger in real life though

  • Had a bon fire with all of the neighborhood kids. (5 boys from next door, one from across the street, my 2, my niece and the parents from next door. ) Yeah we roasted marshmallows.

  • Cleaned off my porch. No more trip hazard at this mammas house!
  • Did all the laundry. There was tons!
  • And today I finally cleaned AM’s room. That took 3 stinkin hours!

 

I plan to continue working outside this week. And clean (deep clean) my kitchen and go thru all my clothes and take anything that doesn’t fit down to the local thrift store. Then I have to re fold everything and find a spot to put it!

 

So, this is why I haven’t been on as of late. But never fear, Momma is back!

 

May 10, 2012

When The Sun Does Shine…

by mommahasapottymouth

Only in Washington state do people (children) think its hot when the sun does shine.

The weather has been getting  nicer, and we planted our garden last weekend. It was my early Mothers Day gift. I am thoroughly excited. Ive always wanted a huge garden, and while mine is in no way huge, its the length of my house. I am mostly excited about the peas. And watching AM see the transformation from tiny seed to plant to food for Thumper. And Momma.

 

So today, we went out to water everything and play in the chilly 56 degree weather. I must be a bad momma, because when I was done watering everything, she wanted the hose. I gave it to her and she had a HAY DAY! Seriously, best day in a long time for her. She made a huge mud puddle and was jumping around splashing around.  She wanted to be nekkid but I put an end to that.

 

So, now I have a lake in my yard, but I also have the happiest three year old in Washington State. We all have to make sacrifices right?

 

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