Archive for ‘letters’

August 28, 2012

Guest Post: Store Day

by mommahasapottymouth

So far, the only guest that I have wanted to write with me is my brother-in-law. I am planning to keep it that way. If you don’t already know, he is in prison. If you do not have anything nice to say, please skip this post.

This is the main entrance to Clallam Bay Corrections Center


Store Day

By: Jeremy H

“If you have never been locked up its doubtful that you understand the significance of Store Day. I don’t even know that I can fully explain it but I will try.

The concept of Store Day is rather simple its the day we inmates get our commissary items. Not a big deal to free people, but quite important to us. Its like pay-day, Christmas, birthday, or panhandling day, depending who you are.

Our entire week revolves around Store Day. Here it begins Sunday when slips have to be turned in. Those that are fortunate enough to have a hob or a loved ones to provide money are able to order whatever goodies are on the store list. Many others can only run up a hygiene debt of generic soap, generic toothpaste, aspirin, paper, small pencils and envelopes.

Thus begins the long wait until Wednesday when Store arrives. This is a time of expectation and looking forward to something. There are few things in prison to look forward to and almost nothing beats Store Day. Off hand, visits are the only thing that come to mind.

Monday or Tuesday is when people tend to run out of things like coffee and soap. It’s a rare week when you don’t hear someone asking for a shot of coffee or a bar of soap “until Store Day.”‘

Every week we watch the Store cart get rolled to our unit and the anxiety skyrocket. You can feel the tension in the air. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got 1 envelope coming or a $30 sack or food you’re excited.

With the excitement comes the worries. Did the money make it on time? Did they run out of something you need? Did prices go up again and overdraw your order? Did your slop somehow get lost?

The wait continues minute by minute as each order is counted and checked for accuracy. The stress builds as you see the far left (Red) pod start to go out one by one to pick up their Store. The pod order is supposed to rotate week to week, Red-Brown-Green with each getting their chance at being the first pod. Funny thing is on Store Day, they ALWAYS start with Red pod.

Some people pace their cell waiting to be called. Most people (and I am one of them) wait at their cell door looking out and try to will the process to go faster. It reminds me of getting up at 3am on Christmas morning and staring back and forth from the presents to the clock wondering when Mom and Dad will get up. One by one people com back from the Store cart. Some are happy but inevitably there are those whose money didn’t make it on time, or worse, unfortunate enough to have ordered an out of stock item.

Next comes the repayment of thing borrowed, or debts incurred. Almost everyone has to make a move of some sort. Then there are the people with nothing looking for a handout. Already deals are being made for next Store Day and the excitement begins to build once again.

Next Store Day I’ll get…”

August 27, 2012

Guest Post: Indian Story

by mommahasapottymouth

This is a guest post from my brother-in-law, Jeremy, who is currently in prison. As I have stated before, if you are not comfortable reading something that an inmate has written, please either pass this story by or, if you must, unfollow me. This man is paying his time, and in all honesty, I find him to be a creative genius. Please enjoy!

this is the scanned copy of what we received in the mail. I hope you enjoy as much as I do!


I am going to be adding more now. I just don’t have the hard copy any more. If you can read this, please take the time to do so!!

July 30, 2012

Guest Posts

by mommahasapottymouth

I would like to take the time to introduce the only person I would even think about letting do a guest post for me.  His name is Jeremy, but in my house we call him Fred.

Before I go any further with this, I want to make something VERY clear. I will not tolerate any one bad mouthing or saying anything hurtful about Jeremy’s situation. If you do not like what you have to hear after please just either don’t read or unfollow me. Easy pease.


Jeremy is my brother-in-law. He is the oldest of his siblings and has one daughter. He is one of the most creative writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading. He is always straight forward and never says anything but what he means. He is also serving in a state penitently.


This is where the don’t judge part comes in. He is a part of my family and I love him just the same as the rest of my in laws. (sometimes maybe a touch more, just kidding) He is paying the price for what he did. Again if you don’t want to read what he has to say, then please don’t. I will not approve of ANY mean or negative comments.


The first post will be up today.

June 17, 2012

A Letter To My Husband

by mommahasapottymouth

We may not be legally married, but damn it, we may as well be. I don’t think that he hears positive things coming from me to often, and I think that is sad. I should be telling him how much he means to me on a regular basis, not just holidays and birthdays.

My Love,

                 Gosh! Its been so long since I have written to you, it almost feels strange. I’m sorry for that. Today, I realised that I do not say and show you how much I appreciate you very often. I need to change that.

            If someone where to tell me  almost 8 years ago that we would be here to-day raising 2 beautiful babies, I would have laughed in their face. I didn’t really have you pegged as the “daddy-type.” Imagine how surprised I was after AM came home with us? You have the natural “nurture” instinct in you that makes you so amazing. Both of those babies look at you with such love, sometimes, it leaves me a bit jealous. If anyone can say that they were blessed with a man who left them speechless and fulfilled with love, its me. Just watching you with them makes everything worth it. Thank you for being the daddy I have always hope to have for my babies.

              And us!! Look how far we have come! I will admit that we have had some very dark days, but I think that the happy days out number the dark ones. I know we have made mistakes and can not change the past, but I also think we have made some really great decisions together as well. I can tell you, there is no other man who loves me or ever has loved me the way that you do. We may not be romantic, and most days we don’t have our shit together, but we mesh well. We fit together like a puzzle. I couldn’t ask for anything more, because if you ask me, I have everything I have ever wanted and needed. I am truly blessed, and I have you to thank for that.

        If someone would ask me about the future, there is only one thing that I could bet my last breath on, and its that I will always want and need you. I want to grow old with you. I can see us as that cute old couple walking slow and holding hands. I can see us sitting on the porch drinking iced tea and eating pb&j sandwiches. In the last almost 8 years, I can say that the love I feel for you has only grown stronger. And as we have grown as individuals we have grown together. I know what makes you tick. I also know what food to cook when I must have a peace-offering. I know how you feel about most of the hot topics, and, I know what I have to do if you can’t sleep. I know you, it seems, better than I know myself. I always know how the situation will end, as it begins.

         The only thing I hope for us, is that we continue down the road we are on. I know they say nothing is perfect, and I can almost agree. The bickering, joking and rough housing is what makes this perfect to me. I can not imagine who I would be if you had not entered my life, and stayed by my side when EVERYONE in your corner told you to go. I know I am the most difficult person, and I understand that I am needy. But babe, the only thing I need is what I have.

                                                     With All My Love Always,


I know its corny and long-winded. But I needed to write that. Even if he will never read this, every word is true.

I love him!


June 16, 2012

As We Grow Up, I think We Grow Apart

by mommahasapottymouth

My family, I tell ya, has been through shit. I mean that very tenderly too, because most of the time, if I have the problem, they all have the problem. We are dysfunctional and hardly ever see eye to eye. We will always call bull shit, and be the first to point out a flaw. But, the essence of my family is that deep down, we are not just children and parents, or siblings. We are friends. I consider my momma to be one of my very best friends. I will not lie to y’all. Its taken about 21 (give or take) years to perfect it, and we still argue all the time. But, she is the first person I call when I am losing the battle with my lovely daughter, or when I have gossip that MUST be shared. With that said…


I am not going to call this person out, that may just be rude, and I am pretty sure my daddy would not approve of that, (I know your reading this and thinking ” oh lord! please get her to shut up before she tells some deep dark family secret” right daddy? Dont worry. ) But, I will say this. I think that it is so sad that someone who shares no blood relations with me or my children knows my children better than someone who does. I needed that person so many times through out my life, and, unless there was something in it for them, they wouldn’t come to my aid. I think they even told me (and I quote) “You’re fucking stupid Marlene. Why would you have a baby?” Same person said the same thing when I had my son. Didnt even bother to visit me after I had them.

I understand that my house is further away then the rest of my close-knit family. But see, the road that I have to take to come visit you also runs right back to my door step. Amazing how things work huh? I can count the number of times I have seen or spoke to them this year. It’s a pretty low number. Lower than 10.

So if you are reading this, and feel like you are the guilty party, I can assure you, you’re right. If you don’t want us in your life because we don’t fit your life style, well that is ok. But, when your gut starts telling you that maybe you need to make amends with me, please, either save your breath and paper, or make it worth my while. I am done waiting for you to decide to be apart of my children’s life.

May 16, 2012

Dear Son…

by mommahasapottymouth

In my attempt to write to my lovely little girl (who is sleeping, which is why she is so lovely) about all the things I want her to know, I think I should tell my beautiful son ( I know he’s a boy. But boys are beautiful too. Especially mine) the things I want him to know. Keep in mind I am his momma. So, I may sound more over protective then with my daughter.

Dear JR,

As your momma I think I should tell you some things. Some may call it talking from the heart. Others may call it preaching. Whatever you wish to call it, Just know that:

You will always be my little boy. No girl will ever be good enough, and when you do decide to marry and leave old momma behind, I will give you hell. And her. But if you truly love her, I will too. You should also know that you where a gentle baby, try to stay that way as a man. I know it will be trying even in the best of times, but being gentle and kind will make you a better person in the end. You should also know that its ok for men to cry. Your daddy may tell you other wise but listen to your momma when I say that when things are bad and you need to shed some tears, that is good for the soul.

You need to know that I wanted you before you were born, and that no matter what, I will always back you. I will not always agree with you but I will always support you and be your cheering squad. When you think you have no one in this world, you will always have me.

You need to look out for your sister, as my momma always told me and your uncle, from cradle to grave, she is all you got. Don’t push her away. When you are older and wiser, she very well may be your best of friends. She needs you. And, son, you need her. Protect her, but don’t bully her. Listen to her when she cry’s. Don’t ever berate her or call her names. When you where a baby, she always called you her baby. And I think you loved her best.

I love you and I always will. Don’t you ever forget that.




I really don’t think that I need to sum that up.

My baby Boy

May 8, 2012

The Eff word!

by mommahasapottymouth

No no, not that one. The other bad one. Fat. The ugly word that we have all thought at some point or another. And today, my daughter told me I am.

I am not hurt, but, I can not deny the fact that my little girl says what she feels.

This is how the conversation went down:

AM: ” Momma, I like your pretty bracelet”

Me: ” Thank you baby, Nana gave it to me.”

AM: ” Can I have it?? PLEASE?”

Me: ” No baby. This is special to me.”

AM: ” Well you’re too fat for it you know”

Me:” What did you just say?”

AM:” You are. you’re too fat for your bracelet and your make up and you’re pretty shoes and all your pretty dresses. Sorry momma.”

And with that, she walked away. Leaving me like I was just smacked right in the kisser.

So I have decided that she needs to know some things. I plan to print this out and give it to her in her baby book (OK its more of a box) and share it with her on her 16th birthday. Here goes nothing:

  • You are not fat, and you have never been fat a day in your life. Stop obsessing.
  • You are beautiful, and I mean that in every sense. Always remember that.
  • You are a smart girl, always use your brain.
  • There will be hard times, times that you want to give up. Keep going, things always get better.
  • Your heart will get broken, many times. This happens just so you can appreciate love when it does come. And it always comes.
  • When you decide to be a momma, do it unconditionally. With all your heart. Don’t hold back your love for your babies. Ever.
  • Your dreams will only be dreams if you let them be. Do something to make them come true.
  • Mistakes happen. It’s what you do with them that counts. Always learn from them. They happen for a reason.
  • Never regret anything, because everything you are today is because of what you have done.
  • Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not worth it. You will always be worth it.
  • Love. With everything you have, and never stop loving.
  • Someday, you will realize the term ” Because I said so ” is true. And you will use it.
  • If you need help, always ask.
  • Remember that people are not perfect. Nothing is perfect.
  • Don’t ever forget that momma and daddy love you with every thing within their soul. And we will always love you.
  • And, lastly, you will never be too old to be my little girl.

My little love bug!

As for the fat part, I guess its time to get back in shape. I will get to that at some point, I swear.

May 3, 2012

Truths about Momma

by mommahasapottymouth

I figured y’all need to get to know me a little better since I have a few followers. So here is some truths about Momma:

  • My name is MarleneMe
  • I’m 25
  • I’m not legally married. But I may as well be
  • I am terrified of Monkeys and gorillas. Terrified!
  • I am also afraid of birds, although Humming Birds are my worst enemy
  • I have a favorite kid, and that is who ever is making me not want to pull my hair out at that time
  • I have an addictive personality. I once got addicted to the gym.
  • My favorite word is Fuck. You can fit that word into ANY sentence and make it work.
  • I love my Momma and Daddy.
  • I love to cook and bake
  • My dream is to be something more than a mom. It used to be a Journalist, now I just want to own a restaurant and be the head chef.
  • I cry at movies like the Fox and the Hound, but rarely laugh out loud at something on TV.
  • Beauty and style are not my forte’. I just like to be dressed.
  • I grew up in the city, but moved to a small town and will never go back.
  • I want a farm, with lots of pigs
  • I once thought the words to “Stayin Alive” where (I wish I where kidding here) “Ah Ah Ah Ah slayin a rat”
  • When I like a song, I sing with out inhibition, and dance like I know what I am doing.
  • I have one best friend, who has been there for everything (including the birth of my son) and knows everything there is to know about me! Her name is Megan.
  • I don’t tie my shoes.
  • I yell when I’m mad.  A LOT.

There you have it. That’s  me in about 300 words. ( thank you fancy dancy word counter at the bottom of this!)


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