Archive for ‘recipe’

March 25, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma PT 2

by mommahasapottymouth

If you failed to read part one of this, then you are missing out!! Go check it out here, yes yes, I’ll wait…

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Good. As you know, Pintrest! is not my friend!! I feel all ambitious every time I am there, but I can not stay away!!Any way.

I figured y’all would want to know the end result to my candy makin Tequila. Can I just say the green is freakin amazing!!! The lemon has yet to be added to anything, and anymore I am not a straight shooter. ( Don’t tell my friends from High School that though, they wouldn’t believe that for a second!!)

I also have to report that I tried doing this with Vodka:

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I went and got two 5th’s of the cheapest Vodka I could get ($6.25) and poured some into clean mason jars. I also bought a lot of candy. Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, 2 bags of Jolly Rancher jelly beans and marshmallows.

I picked out the blue and the pinkish red jelly beans and put all of each into a jar with Vodka and sealed. I also put 3 boxes of the Sour patch kids in to one jar and sealed it. With the marshmallows, I was worried about not being sweet enough so I added a sprinkle ( yea that is a measurement in my house) of raw cane sugar in to a tiny little jar. Here is what happened:

Jelly bean Vodka: The color change was almost instant. It took a little over a week to break down the jelly beans, and even then it didn’t break down fully. I shook the shit out of those jars every time I looked at them . I took a normal mesh strainer and ran the Vodka thru twice. After I took the mesh off of one of those mesh splatter guards ( please don’t ask me what the hell it is really called) and that got all the candy out.

sour-watermelon-slices-i4

Watermelon Sour Patch Vodka: This one took a little less time to break down. Argh but it looked so disgusting when it was “fermenting” I almost nixed the whole idea, almost. The candy sort of broke up and then settled on the bottom, and the whole thing turned a yucky greyish color. I shook this one as often as the others too. At one point my DH told me it was bad, and smelled like rotten lemon. After a week and a half, I strained it the same way as above. In the end, I added a touch of pink food coloring, because I knew no one would touch it in the current color.

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marshmallow: This shit sucked. I dropped a ton of them into a small glass and poured maybe 2 shots over. I added a tiny bit of sugar and shook the shit out of it. After a day, they were gone. And it tasted terrible. I have no clue what I did wrong, but if anyone has an idea to make it tastier I am all freakin ears!!

I am happy to report that both of the watermelon vodkas turned out fantastic, while the blue jolly rancher was good, it was not AMAZING. I mixed them with plain ol Sprite, and hot damn, that shit is good.

There are two downsides to this idea of mine though: One, they still have the “Cheap Vodka Smell” which may very well turn out to be a blessing… and two, they absolutely do NOT taste like ” Cheap Vodka,” which in it self is a terrible thing. They tasted like the candy. Could turn out to be very dangerous to my health!

Until next time,

Drink it up and Cheers bitches!!!

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March 13, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma

by mommahasapottymouth

Damn that Pintrest!! I already have a semi crafty brain, and I have a love for creating something that can be used. So then Pintrest comes along and feeds that desire. Well to be fair, I guess it could be worse right?

Well guess what bitches?? IT JUST GOT WORSE!!! I found a recipe for CANDY INFUSED VODKA!!! Holy freakin shit!!

While I do not drink all the time, and I am not partial to vodka, I do love to have the occasional drink, and I do love me some candy! Mixing the two??? I have not decided if this will turn out to be my best or worst idea!

As I said, I like vodka, but it’s not my favorite. What is you ask? Tequila. See, since, well, it doesn’t really matter does it? Lets say for a long time me and Jose (Cuervo, that is) have a pretty good understanding of how our nights would go. Id do shots, about six, and then I would be sick! I knew what to expect every time. And, while it does have a tendency to make me extremely hot ( and therefore be forced to remove an article or two of clothing) it has never ever made me violent. Quiet the opposite.

I always thought that Tequila was supposed to be, well, yucky! Not so much my friends!! Have you met my other friend Petron? Ah yes, he is a good drink! Oh so smooth!! And quite spendy as well!!

So, apon stumbling on this amazing creation for vodka, I thought to my self … “why not Tequila?” And that is what led to this long drawn out post!!

I had a bottle of strong Tequila, just sitting there looking all pretty:IMG_20130313_150359

 

So I washed up two wide mouth quart jars:

IMG_20130313_150406

 

And in one I put two boxes of Lemon Heads Candy:

IMG_20130313_150453

 

And the other I put all the green and yellow Skittles from two boxes:

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Using a measuring cup, I put cup for cup of the Tequila into each jar, and then sealed them up. This is how they look:

IMG_20130313_152146

YUMMY! The blog I read said that you can leave them over night, or longer. And the longer you leave them the stronger the candy taste will be, so guess what this Momma is doing?? Yep, these puppies are staying put untill the candy has dissolved all the way!! I shake them any time I am in the kitchen also.

When the time comes for me to strain and taste, I will update for sure!!

Cheers bitches!!

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

June 30, 2012

Pre-Party Fruit Experiment No. 1

by mommahasapottymouth

So we are doing a big party at my best friends house this year for the fourth. I am planning to do something over the top in terms of the liquor department. Right now I am in the process of conducting an experiment with strawberries and Tequila Rose. Here is whats goin on in my fridge at the moment:

I bought 2 big things of strawberries from the grocery store today. My children love them, and I am going to try to get them alcoholic. I only had half a bottle of Tequila left so I figured what the hell, let’s try.

I found the smallest softest berries and cut the stems off, and just the tip of the end. Then I took my paring knife and took out just a tad of the core out. I tossed them in to a bowl with a tight fitting lid and poured the Tequila right over top. I will leave it in the fridge over night, and check things out. I expect that they will no longer be a brilliant red color but instead a light pink. I figure that they will be good and soaked and, what ever Tequila is left I will be able to make a drink out of. Win in my book.

If this goes the way I hope it will, I plan to make a big platter of these along with a keg of sorts watermelon. This is what I will do.

I have to buy more than one watermelon because children will be present and they all love watermelon. Cant have the children eating my treats, right?? I will cut a small portion of the top off

click for credit

and try to get some of the pulp loosened up. Then I am going to pour in a nice amount of straight Vodka. I will replace the lid and let it sit in my fridge until the liquid is absorbed. Then I am going to take another type of liquor (I was thinking coconut rum, but coconut and watermelon?? weird in my book.) maybe a strawberry or some type of fruit schnapps or vodka and dump another generous amount. I will replace the lid and let it sit untill the party starts. My plan for the party is to scoop the pulp that is loose in to cups and serve that. Once the pulp is gone, I plan to cut it up and pass it out to eat.

So does my plan sound stupid?? Gross? Would you change any thing in the recipe? Have you tried any of this? How did it turn out??

June 30, 2012

Fleas and Ticks and Mosquitos, OH MY!

by mommahasapottymouth

The weather is getting warmer everywhere and that means our fur babies are getting bugs, and I think this year is going to be bad.

I had never seen a tick before this year, and let me tell you they are ugly little fuckers!

know the difference!

We have dealt with fleas since we have had Buddy. It seems to me that dogs with lighter longer hair are more appetizing to fleas then those with darker shorter hair. I could be wrong though. And believe me, after you have them, its like pulling teeth trying to get rid of them!!

I myself have  tried everything! From bombs to the vacuuming to do-it-your-self. On my pets, I have found Revolution Drops seem to work for all of my dogs. Nothing I have found works well with my cats, so I am still searching. And, along with that, I am looking for something for that damn rabbit as well.

I have been doing a lot of research on this topic in the last week now, starting at night and stopping at bed time. I have come across a lot of very good information. I am including links to all the sites I found “visit worthy” and I encourage you to check them out.

The main reason I wanted to share this with y’all is because if any of you are like me, your pets are part of your family. Since April or so, I have pulled off at least 100 ticks off my girl Sissy. Once a vivacious dog, and well on the fat side, is now tired and skinny. I know it is because she is litterly being eaten alive. I am doing everything in my power to bring her back up to top-notch health. So I thought Id share with you what her Vet told me.

To remove a tick you will need sharp-pointed tweezers, a shallow dish or cup, rubbing alcohol and an antibiotic ointment (think Neosporin)

1. Get as close to the skin as possible and grab the tick by the head, gently pulling up and away from the dog.

2. If you do not get the head (and trust me, sometimes, it happens) leave it ALONE!! Do not pick at it or try to get it out. This may cause infection. After it dries up, it will surface like a pimple and be able to be removed.

3. Put Tick in to cup or dish and cover with rubbing alcohol. Do not flush or pop. Flushing will not kill it, and could come back up the pipes. Popping or squeezing it could cause your to come in contact with several diseases. Drowning it is the only way to safely destroy it.

4. Dab a bit of the antibiotic ointment on the site of the tick and leave alone!

He also told me that you should never hold a hot match up to the ticks ass, as this could cause it to burrow deeper, making removal harder. (Not to mention cause possible burns, I would think). The same can be said with covering it with petroleum Jelly, so don’t do it!! Check out the link below from the ASPCA on this!

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-care-tips/how-to-remove-a-tick-from-your-pet.aspx

As for fleas, just because you kill off the ones off the pets does not mean your problem ends there. There is an entire cycle you have to go thru before they are all gone.

 

A few years back we had a bad flea infestation. Matt bought borax and sprinkled it on the carpets and swept it in. We waited to vacuum for a few days, and repeated the process. Borax acts as a dehydrate for fleas. It dry them out. We did this every other day, for what seemed like a few months.

I have read though that you can do this once every 2 weeks for a few months to rid your home of fleas. Here is a picture of the flea life cycle, and a better way to understand how hard it is to kill the bastards.

I have also heard other remedies that help control fleas. I have tried Brewers Yeast, and while my dogs love love love it, the only difference that I noticed is that their coats become more oily. I have heard about adding garlic to their diets, but my dogs will not go near anything that smell like garlic. I have also heard really good things about Diotamaceous Earth. While I have not tried it, I have done my research on it. I know there are two different kinds of it, and the one you have to use on pets must be food grade. It is like the Borax as far as I can tell, and dries them out. If anyone has tried this method I would be interested in finding out how well it worked and what you did.

 

The bottom line is that this year is supposed to be hotter than normal. With that means our pets are at a higher risk of fleas and ticks (and Mosquito’s) and we as pet owners must do what we can to protect them. I encourage you to look into the matter and take a course of action that you feel is best for you and your family. .

Facts:

Mosquitos carry heart worm disease

Fleas can lead to tapeworms

Ticks can transmit diseases like Lyme and Rockie Mountain Spotted Fever to humans

One flea can lay up to 50 eggs a day

Ticks feed for 24 to 48 hours

Ticks lay 100 eggs at a time

Fleas consume 15 times their body weight in blood

 

 

 

 

June 5, 2012

Mommas Biscuits and Gravey, and a Light Dessert!

by mommahasapottymouth

Wow, lately I am on a food roll. I think I have been posting more food related posts than anything. Sorry about that to y’all who came to hear me rant or bitch. Anyway, tonight I made an awesome from scratch dinner and changed up a recipe I got from my best friend to suit my needs for a cake. I want y’all to try them if you get the chance.

 

For the dinner you will need:

Sausage (don’t use the breakfast kind. The hot may work, but I used plain ol’ regular Jimmy Dean.)

Garlic and Pepper Seasoning

Chili powder

Flour ( I used Silk Cake Flour, and I couldn’t have hoped it turned out so well)

Butter ( you guys know me by now)

Milk

Fresh ground pepper corn (additional to the garlic and pepper mix)

Biscuits  (OK, I will admit my biscuit skills are way below par, but, Pillsbury’s are right up there with granny right??)

 

First, brown the meat, and do not drain the fat. Add some butter to the pot (oh yeah use a non stick pot for this) and melt completely. After start adding (slowly) some flour, and brown it. I like mine thick so I probley added about a 1/4 cup)  This step is critical for the right turn out. Before adding more flour to the pan, make sure the stuff in the pot is already browned. Don’t let it stick to the bottom.

After you have added the right amount of flour to your meat and butter mix, slowly whisk in milk. Remember, It’s easier to thin something out then to keep trying to thicken it up. The longer you wish and cook, the thicker it will be.

Taste and serve over warm biscuits!!

 

Now for the cake.

You need:

Angel food cake ( yes I am lazy. I bought mine pre made.)

Jello ( I used black cherry, but I think any berry type would taste great)

1 cup boiling water

Berry preserves ( I used a 3 berry mix boysenberry, raspberry and blackberry)

Softened Cool Whip in the tub. ( don’t get the flavored kind. Yuck!!)

 

Poke semi large holes in the top of your angel food cake. Set on a jelly pan.

Boil water and completely dissolve jello. Pour mix over cake. Immediately put cake to cool in fridge. At least 2 hours. (Don’t worry, the jello wont make anything soggy)

After the jello has set, spread a thinnish layer of preserves on top of the jello. Allow to cool in fridge again for 1/2 hour.

Now spread the whole cake with cool whip.

Enjoy!

 

If you change anything to either, let me know. I love to try new things!!

June 4, 2012

Mommas Stir Fry

by mommahasapottymouth

 

Mmm, I made some delicious stir fry the other night. It was so yummy I have to share it with y’all!!

 

 

I didn’t measure any thing. I never do.

 

You need:

Kielbasa Sausage

2 cloves Garlic

Butter

Soy Sauce

Orange Juice

Curry Powder

Honey

Veggies (I like the kind that has green beans and peas in them, but I am sure any frozen kind would work)

Pepper

Cornstarch

Water

Chilli powder

Cooked rice

How to do it:

Slice the sausage and mince the garlic. Toss into a pan with the butter (enough to lightly brown the sausage)

After the butter is completely melted, add 2 parts orange juice to one part soy sauce. Drizzle honey (don’t be shy with the honey. It wont be too sweet.) Cook until sauce is warmed thru. Remove the meat.

Toss the veggies into the sauce and add a tad more butter. (Ha ha I love butter. I know I am going to hurt my self in the long run, but this is my vice, so don’t judge me) Sprinkle the curry powder ( this is one spice you don’t want to go way over board with. Start with a pinch and work your way into more if you need it.) and the chili powder (again, just start with a pinch) and a dash more of the juice and soy sauce. Add a smidgen more of the honey and cover until the veggies are tender.(Turn the heat down a bit too.)

 

While this is cooking mix a little corn starch and cold water up. (No clumps silly) When the veggies are tender, add the meat back to the pan and add the corn starch, a little at a time. Bring to a boil and stir. Lower the heat back down and cover.

Serve over rice!!

 

May 31, 2012

Coffee is the secret!!

by mommahasapottymouth

Today I am making two things, well three if you want to count dessert. So, I want to share the chili first. It’s so tasty!

You will need:

Ground meat (I always use burger, but turkey may work too)

Canned beans ( I love beany chili, so I use three or four: pinto kidney and sometimes black)

Tomato’s ( canned when fresh is not available) diced. (don’t drain them)

Beef broth ( I like the kind with gelatin added, but any kind works. I also use the Knorr concentrated beef broth packets)

amazing!!

Orageno

Cummin ( I tend to use a lot, and taste while I go)

Chili powder (see above )

Chopped Onion

Minced Garlic

Cold coffee (like from this morning that you didn’t use)

Rice or corn bread, cooked as package directed. (normally I use rice, tonight it will be fresh corn bread)

Shredded Cheese

( on a side note, my DH loves to make this dish, but he does not use the same ingredients. Basicly, its meat beans and hot hot peppers.)

What to do:

Brown and drain fat from meat.

Chop onions and tomatoes (if fresh)

Add onions tomatoes and garlic to meat. Cook until onions are soft.

Add Coffee and beef broth.

Stir in tomato’s and canned beans.

Add oregano and cummin to taste, along with chili powder.

Simmer until thick. (I continue to add spices during this phase. Taste your food as you go. Only draw back is you may not be hungry when dinner is ready)

Serve topped with cheese, over rice or with a side of corn bread.

ENJOY!

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