Archive for July, 2012

July 30, 2012

Guest Posts

by mommahasapottymouth

I would like to take the time to introduce the only person I would even think about letting do a guest post for me.  His name is Jeremy, but in my house we call him Fred.

Before I go any further with this, I want to make something VERY clear. I will not tolerate any one bad mouthing or saying anything hurtful about Jeremy’s situation. If you do not like what you have to hear after please just either don’t read or unfollow me. Easy pease.

 

Jeremy is my brother-in-law. He is the oldest of his siblings and has one daughter. He is one of the most creative writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading. He is always straight forward and never says anything but what he means. He is also serving in a state penitently.

 

This is where the don’t judge part comes in. He is a part of my family and I love him just the same as the rest of my in laws. (sometimes maybe a touch more, just kidding) He is paying the price for what he did. Again if you don’t want to read what he has to say, then please don’t. I will not approve of ANY mean or negative comments.

 

The first post will be up today.

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July 23, 2012

Its A Mommas World, The Rest Of You Just Live Here

by mommahasapottymouth

Its true. If you are not a Momma, you just exist. I don’t mean that to be rude, but Jeez, look around you! Oh, you need examples do ya? Well, turn on the damn boob tube!

It makes me sick to think that fathers get no attention. The dads that are there every day get no special slogans or media attention. They get no outstanding thanks. Because in society, only mommas can love and nurture their young. BULL SHIT!!

Yeah right!

Today I can not tell you all the commercials and ads for the mommas out there. But I can tell you how many I seen for daddy. One, and it wasn’t even remarkable, so I can not tell you what it was for. Lets break down the ones that I do know of, and y’all can add to them if I miss any:

Jiff Peanut butter: “Because choosy moms chose Jiff!”

Yep I just found this stupid sign! click for credit

To Their Moms, They Will Always Be Kids (P&G)

The new Motts Commercial

The Kleenex one aboutGetmommed.com”

Kid Tested, Mother Approved Kix Cereal.

 

That is all I can think of right now. But I do know there is more. Its sick and sad.

After I talked to Matt about writing this post, he did point out that I only notice the momma commercials because I am a momma. He has noticed a few daddy ones and thought it would be nice to include them too. So here is what he remembers:

A Jiff commercial about “Choosy Dads chose Jiff” (I can tell you I do not recall this)

The commercial about the little girl who is going driving and the dad is giving her a talk and suddenly she turns into a big girl. ( again I recall it but it must not have been that great if I can not for the life of me remember what they where advertising for)

Cheerios did one about a kid and his dad. (no recelation)

And finally the Huggies commercial where every time the dad opens his sons diaper the kid starts fire hosing the place. (this one I do remember, and I loved it)

 

I realize looking at my list that they seem relatively even, but they are not. I just can not think right now to get a good amount of examples for the mom side. I think y’all can help!! But what I would really like to know is does it matter to you? If you are a parent, do you care whether advertising companies give more air time to one parent rather than the other? Does it change how you purchase or what you purchase?? I know when I am shopping, it’s what I need and how much it’s going to cost me that matters the most. ( Some things though I do not care what the cost is, if they are tried and true that is all that matters to me) Commercials and ads do not really matter to me as much as prices and quality.

 

 

July 20, 2012

This Potty Training Stuff Is For The Birds!

by mommahasapottymouth

Ugh! My daughter will be 4 in December and she still wears diapers at night!! I am sick to death of this! I imagined life with a 3-year-old much differently, to say it nicely.

I thought I had the day time stuff figured out, I really did. Then, last week she started peeing her pants during the day, sometimes right in front of the toilet. I know I know, maybe she just gets too immersed in her play and doesn’t realize it until it is way too late. Well, I am sick to death of that shit!

While I do not believe in punishment for an accident, there is a thin line this little girl is tip toeing on. When I was a little girl, before my momma married my daddy, she was married to this mean son of a bitch. He used to beat the snot outta her. One long night I peed the bed and I remember him grabbing me outta my top bunk and beating my ass. I will never be that kind of parent. But I also get the frustration that comes with this territory.

When my daughter learned to walk ( actually it was running she learned first, and it was at 7 months old) she also learned to take off her diaper. She hated it. Then she learned to pee on the carpet shortly after. We got her a potty seat and she wouldn’t go near it. Then she turned 2, and it was the magical number. My niece Nana was out for a few days and we took the little potty EVERY WHERE! Out side to play? Check! In the living room to watch cartoons? Check! If AM was there, so was her potty. Since we live a fair distance from everything, (grocery stores, the doctor’s office, my parents) we always just put her in a diaper when we left the house. One day my best friend told me to tell her no more diapers in the car, she would have to tell me when she needed to go. It worked. We have never looked back.

But, try as I might, I can not get my girl potty trained for bed. Some mothers brag about they left a diaper off their kid and instantly there was no accidents. Well I can tell y’all that doesn’t work with this kid. Oh, did I mention that she also takes it off in her sleep and climbs into bed with momma and daddy? Yes sir. Then we get peed on. Its great.

I have tried to reason with her. I have tried cutting down liquids at night. I have all together taken away liquids after dinner save a few sips if she is thirsty. I have tried waking her up in the night. What am I missing??? Can it be that my beautiful little daughter will have to remember to put her diaper on before bed on her wedding night???? God save me now!!

If you have kids, and you have conquered this long and frustrating step, do you feel like sharing your knowledge with this helpless momma?? And please save the “Oh my god! My little one did it all on their own!! At 1 years old!!” I could care less, to be honest.

July 18, 2012

What Has This Country Come To??

by mommahasapottymouth

Let me start by saying that I love my country just as much as the next guy. But the way I have been treated lately has me less than happy.

First of all, my loving DH is doing everything he can to let me stay home with our babies. He works grave yard at a mill. He busts his ass 10 – 12 hours a day to provide for us. Sometimes, we can’t make ends meet. Sometimes, we need help.

Because we are not legally married, I am not covered under his insurance, but my kids are. They are double covered, by him and by Medicaid. Yep, I am one of those that gets help from the government. Hey, guess what? I also receive food stamps. Do y’all have a problem with that?? Get the fuck off my blog if you do.

I had medical coverage from Washington State while I was pregnant, and it will cover me untill my youngest is 5, or until I get married or go to work. (Again, if you don’t like it, quit reading.) Let me say how thankful I am to be able to receive the help that I need. It has been a little bitter-sweet though.

When you are grocery shopping with Food Stamps, you get a different kind of service, I don’t care where you shop. They look at you like you are the scum of the earth. But, even if I was working full-time, I would not be able to feed my family the way I can now. Day care is another story entirely. I would be working to pay someone to take care of my babies. Not to save for our first home, or my children’s college. Nope, just so they can be taken care of 8 – 10 hours a day.

Any way, it gets worse if you or your kids have state provided medical. Doctors treat you like dogs, and sometimes worse. Hospitals are the worst, and as much as they try, they do not make you feel welcome. I feel like I have been branded with a big fat red Medicade stamp right on my forehead. I will give credit, though, to my children’s Pediatrician (if you live anywhere near Tacoma Wa, and are looking for a doctor for your children, contact me, he is the most amazing doctor I have ever met. ) Dr. O. He has never once treated me or them any different from any other patient.

Which brings me to this. For the last little while ( actually since I came back from the road trip with my MIL) I have been dealing with a terrible ear problem. It is way worse than giving birth, and way more intense. I have been in and out of my Dr’s office, with the same thing ” Here are your antibiotics, you will feel better in a few days.” It has been 3 (yes sir count ’em) rounds of antibiotics, with ZERO relief. (Its getting worse daily.) Finally they get my insurance to approve me to go to a specialist, and I went in yesterday feeling like the light at the end of the tunnel was so close I could feel the heat. PSH! I was wrong.

It is a newer practice, and the Dr is not from these parts. He was a kind guy, that wanted to ease my anxiety (do ya think they could cover the damn table with all the tools?) and came in asking about my family. I did not relax, however, because I knew he was going to touch my ear. To be fair, he did the best he could. He told me what I knew, the canal is so swollen he couldn’t see anything, and stuck something in there and scrapped the inside of my ear and pulled out something that hurt so bad. He than did the hearing and pressure test and checked out my voice box and nasal cavities.

He than told me I have to see a dentist before any other treatment can be done. I looked at him and more tears came flooding. How am I going to see a dentist when it took me so long to be able to see him??? He said that the slightly broken tooth had to be removed to eliminate that as the pain causer. Never in my life have I cried to a doctor about anything that is not medically relevent. I left his office after he told me that he wants to do a MRI or CT of that side of my head, to further eliminate any other potitional problems, but my insurance denied it as bein not medically necessary. I walked out in tears.

So here I am, crying like a baby from all the pain and frustration. I get what some of you will say (go to fucking work you lazy bitch) but it’s just not a possibility at this time. I have no clue how to tell Matt that I need a crazy amount of money so I can get my ear fixed by having that tooth pulled. My insurance does cover “Emergency Extractions” but they declare that this is not an Emergency.

I will stop bitchin for now, but I will leave y’all with this: what will it take to get me better? Drink a bottle of Tequila and pull the tooth my self so I can go back to the ENT and maybe get my ear taken care of?? I can attest to this: Pain makes people delirious and do stupid things. If I can’t get the help I need without causing bodily harm, what am I supposed to do?  I CAN NOT go on with this much longer.

July 12, 2012

The After Party

by mommahasapottymouth

I have not been on since, well a long time. I am sorry for that. But I have lots to say now. We will start with the After party, and how the party went down.

I decided not to make the watermelon keg, and I am so glad I didn’t go that route. I made more of a Sopdy/Punch. Here is how I made it:

I went to the local Farm stand and bought a massive amount of fruit. Watermelon, Rainer cherries, grapes, nectarines, plums, apricots, a mango, and some strawberries.

I bawled the watermelon

chopped the grapes and cherries

Sliced the cherries,

Cut up the nectarines apricots and kinda sliced the mango.

I added them all to a big bowl, in layers (which I do not suggest you try.)

I Then dumped in a 5th of vodka, and half a 5th of Bacardi Limon and part of a bottle of Apple pucker. I let it marry the flavors over night and all the next day.

I loved it, but, to make it taste better, in each glass I added a Pink Lemonade Capri Sun Pouch. (Hey, don’t judge, there where kids at this party. )

The Good:

Most of the fruit was so amazing, you forgot you where getting drunk.

Even the Juice from the fruit and Liquor strait was slightly sweet, and had a fantastic flavor!

The Bad:

The watermelon soaked up both the Vodka and the Rum. Everyone who tried it couldn’t take the chunks of watermelon without a chaser.

It went by pretty fast!

In all everyone who tried it got a little tipsy, and it was refreshing on a warm night like the fourth. I will continue to be the one who brings the party to the party every year.

 

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