Posts tagged ‘cancer’

July 18, 2012

What Has This Country Come To??

by mommahasapottymouth

Let me start by saying that I love my country just as much as the next guy. But the way I have been treated lately has me less than happy.

First of all, my loving DH is doing everything he can to let me stay home with our babies. He works grave yard at a mill. He busts his ass 10 – 12 hours a day to provide for us. Sometimes, we can’t make ends meet. Sometimes, we need help.

Because we are not legally married, I am not covered under his insurance, but my kids are. They are double covered, by him and by Medicaid. Yep, I am one of those that gets help from the government. Hey, guess what? I also receive food stamps. Do y’all have a problem with that?? Get the fuck off my blog if you do.

I had medical coverage from Washington State while I was pregnant, and it will cover me untill my youngest is 5, or until I get married or go to work. (Again, if you don’t like it, quit reading.) Let me say how thankful I am to be able to receive the help that I need. It has been a little bitter-sweet though.

When you are grocery shopping with Food Stamps, you get a different kind of service, I don’t care where you shop. They look at you like you are the scum of the earth. But, even if I was working full-time, I would not be able to feed my family the way I can now. Day care is another story entirely. I would be working to pay someone to take care of my babies. Not to save for our first home, or my children’s college. Nope, just so they can be taken care of 8 – 10 hours a day.

Any way, it gets worse if you or your kids have state provided medical. Doctors treat you like dogs, and sometimes worse. Hospitals are the worst, and as much as they try, they do not make you feel welcome. I feel like I have been branded with a big fat red Medicade stamp right on my forehead. I will give credit, though, to my children’s Pediatrician (if you live anywhere near Tacoma Wa, and are looking for a doctor for your children, contact me, he is the most amazing doctor I have ever met. ) Dr. O. He has never once treated me or them any different from any other patient.

Which brings me to this. For the last little while ( actually since I came back from the road trip with my MIL) I have been dealing with a terrible ear problem. It is way worse than giving birth, and way more intense. I have been in and out of my Dr’s office, with the same thing ” Here are your antibiotics, you will feel better in a few days.” It has been 3 (yes sir count ’em) rounds of antibiotics, with ZERO relief. (Its getting worse daily.) Finally they get my insurance to approve me to go to a specialist, and I went in yesterday feeling like the light at the end of the tunnel was so close I could feel the heat. PSH! I was wrong.

It is a newer practice, and the Dr is not from these parts. He was a kind guy, that wanted to ease my anxiety (do ya think they could cover the damn table with all the tools?) and came in asking about my family. I did not relax, however, because I knew he was going to touch my ear. To be fair, he did the best he could. He told me what I knew, the canal is so swollen he couldn’t see anything, and stuck something in there and scrapped the inside of my ear and pulled out something that hurt so bad. He than did the hearing and pressure test and checked out my voice box and nasal cavities.

He than told me I have to see a dentist before any other treatment can be done. I looked at him and more tears came flooding. How am I going to see a dentist when it took me so long to be able to see him??? He said that the slightly broken tooth had to be removed to eliminate that as the pain causer. Never in my life have I cried to a doctor about anything that is not medically relevent. I left his office after he told me that he wants to do a MRI or CT of that side of my head, to further eliminate any other potitional problems, but my insurance denied it as bein not medically necessary. I walked out in tears.

So here I am, crying like a baby from all the pain and frustration. I get what some of you will say (go to fucking work you lazy bitch) but it’s just not a possibility at this time. I have no clue how to tell Matt that I need a crazy amount of money so I can get my ear fixed by having that tooth pulled. My insurance does cover “Emergency Extractions” but they declare that this is not an Emergency.

I will stop bitchin for now, but I will leave y’all with this: what will it take to get me better? Drink a bottle of Tequila and pull the tooth my self so I can go back to the ENT and maybe get my ear taken care of?? I can attest to this: Pain makes people delirious and do stupid things. If I can’t get the help I need without causing bodily harm, what am I supposed to do?  I CAN NOT go on with this much longer.

June 5, 2012

Road Trip With My Mother-In-Law, Pt. 1

by mommahasapottymouth

So, this Thursday night, me and my kids will be packing our travel bags (among lots of other things) and headed to Nana’s house. Good lord, I am nervous and excited at the same time.

Me and my MIL have not had the best of relationships thru out our almost 8 year relationship. I have been dishonest and bitchy, and at times she has been down right mean. I thought at first, this trip was more out of kindness to her son, or rather for his benefit, to make him see that she is trying with me. But, I think I was wrong.

Since my DH’s granny passed the day my son JR was born, we have been trying to work things out between us. I wont lie, it has been a VERY challenging road. There have been times that I went to her house and said not a single word to anyone besides my kids. Then not so long ago, she was diagnosed with the very thing that lead to her mother’s death, breast cancer.

I think somewhere (OK, I am positive) inside before she confirmed with her doc, I knew what the outcome was. And something inside me slightly turned from cold stone, to something a touch softer. ( What that would be called, I couldn’t tell ya) I wanted to do something. Take action. And whether she wanted it or not, I became a constant statue in her life. I talked to her almost daily ( almost as much as my own momma, but not quite). I couldn’t imagine what she was going thru. Because, in all honesty, if I was terrified, I couldn’t begin to comprehend what she felt.

(After her surgery, she started her radiation and chemo and, as of last friday she is now done with chemo. )

When we planned this trip a bout 2 months ago, I figured she was going to change her mind about taking me. We have never been anywhere together (except for lunch at Panera Bread or to do some light shopping) and I have never left my kids there over night. (You know they are a handful, don’t get all pissy with me ) But the closer it has gotten, the more we have talked about it.

Here is what I am terrified will happen:

  1. AM will be a total terror. I’m talking breaking things and screaming like a banchy.
  2. Neither AM or JR will sleep. That would just suck.
  3. I will get that wonderful surprise visit from Aunt Flo, right before I want to go for a swim.
  4. It will rain the whole time and we will be stranded in the hotel.
  5. I wont pack enough clothes for the trip, for any one of us.
  6. I will leave something we need, like medication, at home.
  7. I will leave something, like above, at the hotel.
  8. I will be home sick.
  9. AM will cry because she misses her daddy.

Oh what? You thought he was coming? No. Just me and the kids. Her and her youngest.

Leavenworth Wa, here I come

So, when I get back on Sunday, I will update y’all on how it all went down.

May 17, 2012

This is our FUTURE?

by mommahasapottymouth

 

So, today as I sit back and think about my children’s future, a horrid thought ran across my mind; “My generation is SCREWED!” I can not imagine what will happen to me as I grow old and need help. I can not fathom having to rely on either our government or today’s youth for anything. Honestly, I am quite afraid. So I’ll just get right to addressing the huge elephant in the room now:

 

Have any of you watched the news lately? How many times have you heard about kids bringing guns to school? Or all the bullying? What about all the cuts OUR government wants to make to things like Medicare? Will Social Security be a thing of the past? Retirement age keeps going up,( yes I understand, that goes up with life expectancy, but really??) How many will end up with some sort of “After-High-School” training or education? What about all the meth heads and other druggies? Will they steal my high blood pressure medication or my heart medication? I know I am being silly, but we have to consider these things? What does our future hold?

 

 

 

If you think I am wrong in my feelings about today’s youth, visit this link. It’s a poll taken over a period of a few years, and illustrates my feelings. Although I fit in the 18-29 year old category, I am less than optimistic.

And please, don’t get me started on the outlook for Social Security and Medicare. It’s a joke. I realise that is not our youths fault, but congress. I would rather not blame anyone. But, alas, the blame must fall.

I am also a little worried about the work ethic. I mean, with the number rising of Americans (young and old ) abusing illicit drugs, I can’t imagine that the work ethic is very strong. With that, I would assume, goes the want to succeed and be better.

So my question, who is going to man the rest home or hospice I happen to land in if fewer people are being trained to do so? Who is going to foot the bill (because I most definitely will not have all kinds of money saved) when some fool with no desire to care for me grudgingly takes me in out of pitty?

 

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