Posts tagged ‘sick’

March 25, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma PT 2

by mommahasapottymouth

If you failed to read part one of this, then you are missing out!! Go check it out here, yes yes, I’ll wait…

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Good. As you know, Pintrest! is not my friend!! I feel all ambitious every time I am there, but I can not stay away!!Any way.

I figured y’all would want to know the end result to my candy makin Tequila. Can I just say the green is freakin amazing!!! The lemon has yet to be added to anything, and anymore I am not a straight shooter. ( Don’t tell my friends from High School that though, they wouldn’t believe that for a second!!)

I also have to report that I tried doing this with Vodka:

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I went and got two 5th’s of the cheapest Vodka I could get ($6.25) and poured some into clean mason jars. I also bought a lot of candy. Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, 2 bags of Jolly Rancher jelly beans and marshmallows.

I picked out the blue and the pinkish red jelly beans and put all of each into a jar with Vodka and sealed. I also put 3 boxes of the Sour patch kids in to one jar and sealed it. With the marshmallows, I was worried about not being sweet enough so I added a sprinkle ( yea that is a measurement in my house) of raw cane sugar in to a tiny little jar. Here is what happened:

Jelly bean Vodka: The color change was almost instant. It took a little over a week to break down the jelly beans, and even then it didn’t break down fully. I shook the shit out of those jars every time I looked at them . I took a normal mesh strainer and ran the Vodka thru twice. After I took the mesh off of one of those mesh splatter guards ( please don’t ask me what the hell it is really called) and that got all the candy out.

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Watermelon Sour Patch Vodka: This one took a little less time to break down. Argh but it looked so disgusting when it was “fermenting” I almost nixed the whole idea, almost. The candy sort of broke up and then settled on the bottom, and the whole thing turned a yucky greyish color. I shook this one as often as the others too. At one point my DH told me it was bad, and smelled like rotten lemon. After a week and a half, I strained it the same way as above. In the end, I added a touch of pink food coloring, because I knew no one would touch it in the current color.

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marshmallow: This shit sucked. I dropped a ton of them into a small glass and poured maybe 2 shots over. I added a tiny bit of sugar and shook the shit out of it. After a day, they were gone. And it tasted terrible. I have no clue what I did wrong, but if anyone has an idea to make it tastier I am all freakin ears!!

I am happy to report that both of the watermelon vodkas turned out fantastic, while the blue jolly rancher was good, it was not AMAZING. I mixed them with plain ol Sprite, and hot damn, that shit is good.

There are two downsides to this idea of mine though: One, they still have the “Cheap Vodka Smell” which may very well turn out to be a blessing… and two, they absolutely do NOT taste like ” Cheap Vodka,” which in it self is a terrible thing. They tasted like the candy. Could turn out to be very dangerous to my health!

Until next time,

Drink it up and Cheers bitches!!!

March 13, 2013

The Mad Scientist In Momma

by mommahasapottymouth

Damn that Pintrest!! I already have a semi crafty brain, and I have a love for creating something that can be used. So then Pintrest comes along and feeds that desire. Well to be fair, I guess it could be worse right?

Well guess what bitches?? IT JUST GOT WORSE!!! I found a recipe for CANDY INFUSED VODKA!!! Holy freakin shit!!

While I do not drink all the time, and I am not partial to vodka, I do love to have the occasional drink, and I do love me some candy! Mixing the two??? I have not decided if this will turn out to be my best or worst idea!

As I said, I like vodka, but it’s not my favorite. What is you ask? Tequila. See, since, well, it doesn’t really matter does it? Lets say for a long time me and Jose (Cuervo, that is) have a pretty good understanding of how our nights would go. Id do shots, about six, and then I would be sick! I knew what to expect every time. And, while it does have a tendency to make me extremely hot ( and therefore be forced to remove an article or two of clothing) it has never ever made me violent. Quiet the opposite.

I always thought that Tequila was supposed to be, well, yucky! Not so much my friends!! Have you met my other friend Petron? Ah yes, he is a good drink! Oh so smooth!! And quite spendy as well!!

So, apon stumbling on this amazing creation for vodka, I thought to my self … “why not Tequila?” And that is what led to this long drawn out post!!

I had a bottle of strong Tequila, just sitting there looking all pretty:IMG_20130313_150359

 

So I washed up two wide mouth quart jars:

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And in one I put two boxes of Lemon Heads Candy:

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And the other I put all the green and yellow Skittles from two boxes:

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Using a measuring cup, I put cup for cup of the Tequila into each jar, and then sealed them up. This is how they look:

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YUMMY! The blog I read said that you can leave them over night, or longer. And the longer you leave them the stronger the candy taste will be, so guess what this Momma is doing?? Yep, these puppies are staying put untill the candy has dissolved all the way!! I shake them any time I am in the kitchen also.

When the time comes for me to strain and taste, I will update for sure!!

Cheers bitches!!

July 18, 2012

What Has This Country Come To??

by mommahasapottymouth

Let me start by saying that I love my country just as much as the next guy. But the way I have been treated lately has me less than happy.

First of all, my loving DH is doing everything he can to let me stay home with our babies. He works grave yard at a mill. He busts his ass 10 – 12 hours a day to provide for us. Sometimes, we can’t make ends meet. Sometimes, we need help.

Because we are not legally married, I am not covered under his insurance, but my kids are. They are double covered, by him and by Medicaid. Yep, I am one of those that gets help from the government. Hey, guess what? I also receive food stamps. Do y’all have a problem with that?? Get the fuck off my blog if you do.

I had medical coverage from Washington State while I was pregnant, and it will cover me untill my youngest is 5, or until I get married or go to work. (Again, if you don’t like it, quit reading.) Let me say how thankful I am to be able to receive the help that I need. It has been a little bitter-sweet though.

When you are grocery shopping with Food Stamps, you get a different kind of service, I don’t care where you shop. They look at you like you are the scum of the earth. But, even if I was working full-time, I would not be able to feed my family the way I can now. Day care is another story entirely. I would be working to pay someone to take care of my babies. Not to save for our first home, or my children’s college. Nope, just so they can be taken care of 8 – 10 hours a day.

Any way, it gets worse if you or your kids have state provided medical. Doctors treat you like dogs, and sometimes worse. Hospitals are the worst, and as much as they try, they do not make you feel welcome. I feel like I have been branded with a big fat red Medicade stamp right on my forehead. I will give credit, though, to my children’s Pediatrician (if you live anywhere near Tacoma Wa, and are looking for a doctor for your children, contact me, he is the most amazing doctor I have ever met. ) Dr. O. He has never once treated me or them any different from any other patient.

Which brings me to this. For the last little while ( actually since I came back from the road trip with my MIL) I have been dealing with a terrible ear problem. It is way worse than giving birth, and way more intense. I have been in and out of my Dr’s office, with the same thing ” Here are your antibiotics, you will feel better in a few days.” It has been 3 (yes sir count ’em) rounds of antibiotics, with ZERO relief. (Its getting worse daily.) Finally they get my insurance to approve me to go to a specialist, and I went in yesterday feeling like the light at the end of the tunnel was so close I could feel the heat. PSH! I was wrong.

It is a newer practice, and the Dr is not from these parts. He was a kind guy, that wanted to ease my anxiety (do ya think they could cover the damn table with all the tools?) and came in asking about my family. I did not relax, however, because I knew he was going to touch my ear. To be fair, he did the best he could. He told me what I knew, the canal is so swollen he couldn’t see anything, and stuck something in there and scrapped the inside of my ear and pulled out something that hurt so bad. He than did the hearing and pressure test and checked out my voice box and nasal cavities.

He than told me I have to see a dentist before any other treatment can be done. I looked at him and more tears came flooding. How am I going to see a dentist when it took me so long to be able to see him??? He said that the slightly broken tooth had to be removed to eliminate that as the pain causer. Never in my life have I cried to a doctor about anything that is not medically relevent. I left his office after he told me that he wants to do a MRI or CT of that side of my head, to further eliminate any other potitional problems, but my insurance denied it as bein not medically necessary. I walked out in tears.

So here I am, crying like a baby from all the pain and frustration. I get what some of you will say (go to fucking work you lazy bitch) but it’s just not a possibility at this time. I have no clue how to tell Matt that I need a crazy amount of money so I can get my ear fixed by having that tooth pulled. My insurance does cover “Emergency Extractions” but they declare that this is not an Emergency.

I will stop bitchin for now, but I will leave y’all with this: what will it take to get me better? Drink a bottle of Tequila and pull the tooth my self so I can go back to the ENT and maybe get my ear taken care of?? I can attest to this: Pain makes people delirious and do stupid things. If I can’t get the help I need without causing bodily harm, what am I supposed to do?  I CAN NOT go on with this much longer.

June 30, 2012

Pre-Party Fruit Experiment No. 1

by mommahasapottymouth

So we are doing a big party at my best friends house this year for the fourth. I am planning to do something over the top in terms of the liquor department. Right now I am in the process of conducting an experiment with strawberries and Tequila Rose. Here is whats goin on in my fridge at the moment:

I bought 2 big things of strawberries from the grocery store today. My children love them, and I am going to try to get them alcoholic. I only had half a bottle of Tequila left so I figured what the hell, let’s try.

I found the smallest softest berries and cut the stems off, and just the tip of the end. Then I took my paring knife and took out just a tad of the core out. I tossed them in to a bowl with a tight fitting lid and poured the Tequila right over top. I will leave it in the fridge over night, and check things out. I expect that they will no longer be a brilliant red color but instead a light pink. I figure that they will be good and soaked and, what ever Tequila is left I will be able to make a drink out of. Win in my book.

If this goes the way I hope it will, I plan to make a big platter of these along with a keg of sorts watermelon. This is what I will do.

I have to buy more than one watermelon because children will be present and they all love watermelon. Cant have the children eating my treats, right?? I will cut a small portion of the top off

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and try to get some of the pulp loosened up. Then I am going to pour in a nice amount of straight Vodka. I will replace the lid and let it sit in my fridge until the liquid is absorbed. Then I am going to take another type of liquor (I was thinking coconut rum, but coconut and watermelon?? weird in my book.) maybe a strawberry or some type of fruit schnapps or vodka and dump another generous amount. I will replace the lid and let it sit untill the party starts. My plan for the party is to scoop the pulp that is loose in to cups and serve that. Once the pulp is gone, I plan to cut it up and pass it out to eat.

So does my plan sound stupid?? Gross? Would you change any thing in the recipe? Have you tried any of this? How did it turn out??

June 26, 2012

It Takes A Village

by mommahasapottymouth

I am reaching out here. In hopes that someone else is going thru what I am. I  am at my breaking point with my little princess, and I honestly do not know how much more I can take.

Before any of y’all call me a bad mother, remember that I have exhausted every avenue in discipline I can think of ( hence the fact that I am reaching out for help now) and nothing has worked.

So far, I have tried taking things away (example; when AM does not pick up her toys when it is time, I take them away). I have tried reasoning with her ( this is like arguing with the captain of the Debate team) I have tried a swat on the ass ( not a beating, but a touch to let her know I mean business, in which she laughs off) I have tried sending her to her room ( she always finds something to do in there so it’s not really a punishment) and I have tried time out. I am all out of options, and she is wining!

I can not live in a house where the three-year old child runs the show. Daddy doesn’t get to witness much of the things she does, because he works graveyard and has to sleep all day. Its her way, or everyone will pay for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl. I think she is the most intelligent little girl I have ever met. But that is not always a good thing. She out smarts me, and is very sneaky. She knows the words to use to get her way, every time. And she knows that she is cute and works it to her advantage.

Most times it just makes me white-hot mad. Other times, it is mortifying to hear the things she says or see the things she does. Just today, she told me she was going to shoot me in the face. She has never heard me or Matt threaten to shoot anyone! I have no clue where this is coming from!!

Pretty Please?

So, from one parent to many others, does any one have any advise?? Is my child lost forever? Is it too late to change her ways? Or, will she end up one of those mean girls??

(If you are going to bash me or my daughter in any way, don’t even try to comment. I also do not need help from someone who doesn’t even have kids, but thank you anyway!)

May 17, 2012

This is our FUTURE?

by mommahasapottymouth

 

So, today as I sit back and think about my children’s future, a horrid thought ran across my mind; “My generation is SCREWED!” I can not imagine what will happen to me as I grow old and need help. I can not fathom having to rely on either our government or today’s youth for anything. Honestly, I am quite afraid. So I’ll just get right to addressing the huge elephant in the room now:

 

Have any of you watched the news lately? How many times have you heard about kids bringing guns to school? Or all the bullying? What about all the cuts OUR government wants to make to things like Medicare? Will Social Security be a thing of the past? Retirement age keeps going up,( yes I understand, that goes up with life expectancy, but really??) How many will end up with some sort of “After-High-School” training or education? What about all the meth heads and other druggies? Will they steal my high blood pressure medication or my heart medication? I know I am being silly, but we have to consider these things? What does our future hold?

 

 

 

If you think I am wrong in my feelings about today’s youth, visit this link. It’s a poll taken over a period of a few years, and illustrates my feelings. Although I fit in the 18-29 year old category, I am less than optimistic.

And please, don’t get me started on the outlook for Social Security and Medicare. It’s a joke. I realise that is not our youths fault, but congress. I would rather not blame anyone. But, alas, the blame must fall.

I am also a little worried about the work ethic. I mean, with the number rising of Americans (young and old ) abusing illicit drugs, I can’t imagine that the work ethic is very strong. With that, I would assume, goes the want to succeed and be better.

So my question, who is going to man the rest home or hospice I happen to land in if fewer people are being trained to do so? Who is going to foot the bill (because I most definitely will not have all kinds of money saved) when some fool with no desire to care for me grudgingly takes me in out of pitty?

 

May 5, 2012

Don’t Pull The Trigger

by mommahasapottymouth

It’s amazing how something can trigger a memory or something from the past. And, its amazing how we deal with those triggers.

Some of us avoid them at all costs.
For me something small will trigger ” black out” like feelings for me. Something like the smell of peaches. Not like mommas peach pie, no like the smell of peach lotion or a peach scented candle. It sends me over the edge. Its horrible and hard to recover, often leaving me feeling like I need a good salt scrub scouring.

Other times its a song. In my case when I hear anything by Pat Benatar I instantly feel good, along with Hootie and the Blow Fish. Feel good songs that always lift up my spirit. Some songs are not the same though. Some remind me of all the wrong I have done and all the times I have hurt someone I love dearly. When I hear them I get so angry. Radio instantly off.

The last trigger for me is sight. When you have not seen something for so long and suddenly it is right in your line of sight, you can not help but to feel something, weather it be good or bad. Seeing my daddy’s boat and older Dodge Ram Trucks (Diesel of course.) Reminds me of the good part of my child hood. But I tell you, when I see a 76 station I cringe and want to vomit. I can sometimes even feel the acid wanting to take over my body. I am not sure why this is such a bad trigger but I also have no want or desire to find out.

How does one over come the “bad” triggers? I once asked a Doctor and he told me exposure. No thank you. The next time I walked into his office he had a peach candle burning, and I have never went back or talked about the peaches since.

Do you have a good or bad trigger? How do you deal with them?

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