Motherhood Has Changed Me

by mommahasapottymouth

I think its funny to look back at the days of “Pre-Mommyhood” and remember how different I am today. My outlook on life has changed, as well as every other part of me. Some are so profound, while others just plain suck! For example:

(From here on out BB is Before Babies, and AB is After Babies)

BB: I wore a size 0 and weighed 110 with all my clothes on. I couldn’t fill out a shirt or the back side of my jeans.

AB: I fluctuate between sizes and my weight is much higher ( I think I may have been too skinny BB, but come on, I could at least get to 125, right?) and I fill out my shirts in all the wrong places (my waist) and I still have no ass.

BB: I could stay up all night, and wake up refreshed, or sleep untill the next night.

AB: If I stay up past 11, I pay for it dearly, and if I sleep past 6:30, my children must be sick.

BB: I could nap.

AB: What the hell is a nap?

BB: I thought that legalizing Marijuana would be no big deal, same as I thought America (ok the world, but I like to start small) did not really have a drug problem.

AB: While I think legalizing Marijuana for medicinal reasons is still a good idea, I don’t think just anyone should be able to walk into the local Wal-Mart and buy it. And, I still don’t think America has a drug problem, I know it.

BB: If someone where to approach me about signing for the above matter, I would have gladly singed it.

AB: The other day, a woman out side of the store came up to me and told me and my children that only a “man and a woman” should be allowed to marry. She was shouting it. I almost punched her square in her nose. Even if I did believe that (which I don’t) who gave her the right to teach my children that is even an issue? Same as last summer, some guy with dreads (I don’t judge, but I am pretty sure he was not looking at pot in the “drug for cancer or MS” patients stand point, if you know what I mean) approached me and asked me to sign his petition to legalize it. Y’all can only imagine the questions I had to answer from my way too smart 3-year-old. Not cool.

BB: I was positive that when I had children, I wouldn’t do the things my parents did, nor would I say the things my Momma said.

AB: Ha ha. I was funny back then. I am constantly thinking about how I will deal with the boyfriend that I hate when my daughter gets to that age, or the make up she will want to wear. I am certain that my answer will be nothing short of what my Mommas answers where; ” Not in my house” ” Over my dead body” “I don’t care what ( insert childs name here) parents let them do. I am your momma, not theirs” ” If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you too?” and my already all time favorite is ” BECAUSE I SAID SO” which I use more than any other already.

BB: I didn’t want children. E V E R!

AB: I could not imaging my life with out my babies now. No matter how mad or crazy they make me.

BB: My biggest problem was if we had enough beer to camp with.

AB: Beer is not even on my list of problems, but at times I find my self wishing I had a whole damn Keg.

BB: I loved having company and going places.

AB: Now, its like, don’t come over please! My house is a mess, and my children are making it worse! And going somewhere now includes an hour of prep time, not including packing my luggage of crap for the kids. You know, the “Just in case” bag? Most of the prep is getting AM ready by begging she be on her best behavior, and bribing her with something if she plays nicely with either the children at said place or their dogs.

And finally…

BB: I loved everyone kids! I was that girl who didn’t have any of her own, but all the kids flocked to and I loved it.

AB: Now, if they are not family ( and sometimes that doesn’t always help) or very close friends kids, I can’t stand them. I think sometimes I must be a horrible parent. There is this one family who always brings their kids over and drop them off. And as soon as the mom leaves, the child changes into some kind of a demon. I wish I was kidding, but I really can not stand the kid. I think I just may have way fewer patients now or something!

 

There have been other notable changes as well. I can tune a screaming child out and know the difference between crys. I don’t look at other moms when their children are misbehaving in the store and think “Oh my gosh! Look at those brats!” Now I just think “Thank you lord! Thank you for letting my baby be good for the moment!” I no longer find it necessary to show off my goods and much rather would wear something comfy than revealing. I don’t find it necessary to get all dolled up just to go get some food for my fridge. Sometimes its all I can do to get a shower everyday and run a brush thru my mop of a mane. But the biggest change is thinking before that I knew what love was, only to find that love was only a fraction of what I would feel the first time AM was placed in my arms. That is the most profound change of all.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

Chicquero

Nothing but an induced epidemic!

Alina's Scentsy Scents

scentsy scents, an honest opinion about fragrances

Cropable Relationships?

Exploring Long Term Relationships ... Do I belong in the pic? ... Do I stay or do I go?

Break Room Stories

Service Industry Stories and More Since 2012

Memoirs of a Mom Who Ticks

divorced bipolar mom, on a mission to remove stigma surrounding mental illness, movies, being broke, body acceptance, and raising boys and whatever else I feel like writing about.

The Cutter Rambles

The Cutter shares his thoughts on the world

OOAworld

Movie, Photos, Writing, Stories, Videos, Animation, Drawings, Art and Travel

Blue Aventurine

A place to read and share metaphysical stuff.

Prego and the Loon

Pregnant and Dealing With Domestic Violence

Kimberley Ward Photography

www.kimberleyward.co.uk

Tactical Transgressions

In Defense of the United States Constitution

Life in Little Boxes

Thoughts of a Young, Random, Slightly Moody Mama.

Developmental Mommy

Developmental research from a mommy perspective (or vice versa)

Sunny Sleevez

Sun Protection & Green Info

%d bloggers like this: