Posts tagged ‘new best friend’

May 4, 2012

Horrible Momma

by mommahasapottymouth

I know that I am a horrible momma. I know that I am setting horrible examples for my babies. Like swearing, and smoking. I know these things but I am such a terrible momma that I continue down this path.

This will be short and sweet, because my DH is home tonight and I dont often get to snuggle with him. I would like to share with y’all the newest addition to my house.

Its called soap, Irish Springs to be exact. And its going to be AM’s new best friend if she does not loose the potty mouth. ( Comon guys I know y’all are telling me its my fault but shit! Do as I say not as I do right?)

Today she told me to “Fetch.” You can see why I might be a little confused, as I have learned to walk on my two legs and, I have thumbs. So I asked her to repeat her self. I’m a little sorry I did. She said at the top of her lungs ” Fetch ME my milk bitch” Oh my God. She really wanted me to smack her I do believe.

As it is not socially acceptable ( legally either I guess) to beat the crap out of your kids or even smack ’em when they don’t act right, I went to plan B. I ran ( Yes I did run) down the hall and grabbed the box of her daddy’s (horrid) soap. I made him write “POTTY MOUTH” on it and then I made her hold it (to her nose) for three minutes. I told her next time I hear a bad word outta that pretty little mouth she’d be chewing on it. I have yet to decide weather I will hold my self to that.

I remember only ever one time having to try the soap. My brother got it way more often the I did ( And I grew up to swear like a trucker) but I do not believe that I ever called my momma a bitch (ok one time, and I am truly sorry about that. I got a pretty just punishment as well) Momma always fancied Dawn Dish soap by the way.

So I will leave you with that little tid bit of my otherwise wonderful day!


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