Posts tagged ‘love’

August 27, 2012

Oh So Much To Tell!!!

by mommahasapottymouth

So much to update, where the hell do I begin?? I have a justifiable reason for not blogging as often as I was. It was hot. Real hot. OK, not good enough? Fine. I was spending time with my kids. Still not good enough?? OK here is the real truth. My internet was slow and I was lazy. Those days my friend are gone. I am once again back.

this sums it up. got it and all pictures from bing!

First of all, my garden is my little patch of magic. I don’t think there is any other way to explain the way I feel about it. I started it with the intention of showing my daughter the changes from seed to seedling to plant to food or flower. Now, though it is just my sanctuary. Any one who sees it comments on how well it looks. And my petunias are something to see. Tomorrow I will take pictures for all to see and feel the awe that I feel every morning I walk thru it. It truly is amazing!

this is not what i have gathered from my garden, but it is how i feel its coming along!!

Next, my son, the little boy who holds my heart, has had some life changing mile stones happen since we last met. He is walking. He is drinkin moo-juice. He is one.

First Birthday Cake!!!

I will not lie and tell you that I am not sad about this. He is all I have asked for since I learned that I could bear children. While I do have AM, her daddy holds her heart. And since son and daddy’s birthdays are a week apart, this year I had a blow out party. It was huge. So big that I had several panic attacks leading up to my first glass of “Mommas Party Punch”. But, at the end of the day, I achieved the feeling I was looking for. I wanted Matt to know how special he is to me. I wanted my friends and family to be there to celebrate this time. I wanted magical. (There is that word again, I think it has to do with the 3 whipped vodka and Pepsi’s I have had tonight.) I set up Gazebos, put up white lights and decorated the shit out of my yard. I boiled 6 racks of ribs, and Matt bbq’d them to utter perfection. The beer was flowing and so was the good times. The only hitch was one person (who will go UN-named) took a few too many vodka shots and threatened my best friends husband and brother-in-law. It’s safe to say that Momma don’t put up with that shit.

And finally, I have been decluttering my house like Jesus him self-will come down to inspect. I even got the cupboards above the fridge. I used to have an empty fish tank sitting by my front door that over time became a “catch-all” if you will. It held everything from miscellaneous cords to fishing poles to toys that have been confiscated. Yes, it is gone. My daughter and son are down to a toy box each. My daughter sleeps in her CLEAN room. I am making real progress here. Y’all should be super proud of this momma.

 

So, again, to all you faithful readers, I am sorry that I have been MIA for quite some time. But it is safe to say that I am back-again. For now any way.

And tomorrow, please read about Matt’s injury and give me some advise as how to handle this!!

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August 27, 2012

Guest Post: Indian Story

by mommahasapottymouth

This is a guest post from my brother-in-law, Jeremy, who is currently in prison. As I have stated before, if you are not comfortable reading something that an inmate has written, please either pass this story by or, if you must, unfollow me. This man is paying his time, and in all honesty, I find him to be a creative genius. Please enjoy!


this is the scanned copy of what we received in the mail. I hope you enjoy as much as I do!

 

I am going to be adding more now. I just don’t have the hard copy any more. If you can read this, please take the time to do so!!

June 20, 2012

When I Think About Doing Things…. I Do Them!

by mommahasapottymouth

So I have been off the grid the past few days, doing a little research for my upcoming post about fleas and ticks. Anyway, I have had nothing “post worthy” to add, so I decided not to waste anyones time. That is, untill tonight.

As y’all my little princess has  been driving me nuts lately, with her attitude ( yes, she gets that from ME) and plain mean girl ways. And today was no exception. She woke up all pissy. I didn’t make bacon so that made her grumpy. Daddy wanted to watch something he recorded last night, she was not happy about it. I wanted to wait until at least the sun was up before we went outside. Really the list goes on

Click for credit

And this my friends, is where it ended tonight:

I put her in the bath and my mother in law called. I turned off her water and stepped into the kitchen to clean up a bit. I checked on her to make sure all was good. Then I went out to stand on the porch. About 10 minuets later, I went in to check on her. Well much to my surprise, all was NOT! The water was running. I hung up on my mother in law and went berserk.

click for credit

 My words where ” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS FOR?? WHY THE HELL IS THE WATER ON??”  She replied (caught off guard, and quiet shocked that I did not find this to be the very best thing that has ever happened in our home, judging by the look on her face.) “I didn’t do it!” I shut off the water and ran to our door, busted in on Matt, shouted ” HONEY!! DONT COME OUT HERE WE HAVE A BIG SITUATION!” ( yes because yelling at the top of my lungs to not follow me to the bathroom has always worked in my favor) He asked what happened and I told him that “HIS” daughter (childish I know) flooded our bathroom. I have never seen him move so fast!

He looked in, was speechless ( in all honesty, this was the best reaction. I already flipped out) and then asked very calmly “Bug, why did you do this?”(ok so this did make me a tad mad) And you you know what her reply was?

“MOMMA DID IT!”

WHAT????

 Are you joking me? So I chimed in, ” No I didn’t!” ( we sounded like little teenage girls) To which she replied, :” The water turned on by its self!” And her dear daddy ( really he must be a saint because he was so damn calm) stated that “Baby, water just doesnt turn its self on.” And then she said ( ugh I just threw my hands up)

” UGH DADDY! When I think about doing things, I just do them!”

Well if that is not the understatement of the god damn year.

When did my beautiful little girl turn into such a monster?? Maybe the Zombies have already started, and she is one of them???

Seriously the water was up to my ankles and out in the hall. I have no towels left to take a shower my self, and when I made JR’s bottle, he had to have cold water, because his wonderful sister decided my floor needed all the warm.

I guess the one good thing is that now I no longer need to mop the bathroom floor, and that entire end of the house smells like Baby Magic.

June 17, 2012

A Letter To My Husband

by mommahasapottymouth

We may not be legally married, but damn it, we may as well be. I don’t think that he hears positive things coming from me to often, and I think that is sad. I should be telling him how much he means to me on a regular basis, not just holidays and birthdays.

My Love,

                 Gosh! Its been so long since I have written to you, it almost feels strange. I’m sorry for that. Today, I realised that I do not say and show you how much I appreciate you very often. I need to change that.

            If someone where to tell me  almost 8 years ago that we would be here to-day raising 2 beautiful babies, I would have laughed in their face. I didn’t really have you pegged as the “daddy-type.” Imagine how surprised I was after AM came home with us? You have the natural “nurture” instinct in you that makes you so amazing. Both of those babies look at you with such love, sometimes, it leaves me a bit jealous. If anyone can say that they were blessed with a man who left them speechless and fulfilled with love, its me. Just watching you with them makes everything worth it. Thank you for being the daddy I have always hope to have for my babies.

              And us!! Look how far we have come! I will admit that we have had some very dark days, but I think that the happy days out number the dark ones. I know we have made mistakes and can not change the past, but I also think we have made some really great decisions together as well. I can tell you, there is no other man who loves me or ever has loved me the way that you do. We may not be romantic, and most days we don’t have our shit together, but we mesh well. We fit together like a puzzle. I couldn’t ask for anything more, because if you ask me, I have everything I have ever wanted and needed. I am truly blessed, and I have you to thank for that.

        If someone would ask me about the future, there is only one thing that I could bet my last breath on, and its that I will always want and need you. I want to grow old with you. I can see us as that cute old couple walking slow and holding hands. I can see us sitting on the porch drinking iced tea and eating pb&j sandwiches. In the last almost 8 years, I can say that the love I feel for you has only grown stronger. And as we have grown as individuals we have grown together. I know what makes you tick. I also know what food to cook when I must have a peace-offering. I know how you feel about most of the hot topics, and, I know what I have to do if you can’t sleep. I know you, it seems, better than I know myself. I always know how the situation will end, as it begins.

         The only thing I hope for us, is that we continue down the road we are on. I know they say nothing is perfect, and I can almost agree. The bickering, joking and rough housing is what makes this perfect to me. I can not imagine who I would be if you had not entered my life, and stayed by my side when EVERYONE in your corner told you to go. I know I am the most difficult person, and I understand that I am needy. But babe, the only thing I need is what I have.

                                                     With All My Love Always,

Windy

I know its corny and long-winded. But I needed to write that. Even if he will never read this, every word is true.

I love him!

 

June 16, 2012

As We Grow Up, I think We Grow Apart

by mommahasapottymouth

My family, I tell ya, has been through shit. I mean that very tenderly too, because most of the time, if I have the problem, they all have the problem. We are dysfunctional and hardly ever see eye to eye. We will always call bull shit, and be the first to point out a flaw. But, the essence of my family is that deep down, we are not just children and parents, or siblings. We are friends. I consider my momma to be one of my very best friends. I will not lie to y’all. Its taken about 21 (give or take) years to perfect it, and we still argue all the time. But, she is the first person I call when I am losing the battle with my lovely daughter, or when I have gossip that MUST be shared. With that said…

 

I am not going to call this person out, that may just be rude, and I am pretty sure my daddy would not approve of that, (I know your reading this and thinking ” oh lord! please get her to shut up before she tells some deep dark family secret” right daddy? Dont worry. ) But, I will say this. I think that it is so sad that someone who shares no blood relations with me or my children knows my children better than someone who does. I needed that person so many times through out my life, and, unless there was something in it for them, they wouldn’t come to my aid. I think they even told me (and I quote) “You’re fucking stupid Marlene. Why would you have a baby?” Same person said the same thing when I had my son. Didnt even bother to visit me after I had them.

I understand that my house is further away then the rest of my close-knit family. But see, the road that I have to take to come visit you also runs right back to my door step. Amazing how things work huh? I can count the number of times I have seen or spoke to them this year. It’s a pretty low number. Lower than 10.

So if you are reading this, and feel like you are the guilty party, I can assure you, you’re right. If you don’t want us in your life because we don’t fit your life style, well that is ok. But, when your gut starts telling you that maybe you need to make amends with me, please, either save your breath and paper, or make it worth my while. I am done waiting for you to decide to be apart of my children’s life.

June 4, 2012

Oh Sunny Day!

by mommahasapottymouth

Gosh darn, I am THE blog worlds biggest slacker ever. For that, I apologize.

With that, I am honored to accept the “Sunshine Blogger Award” given to me by Priscilla, over at http://onlinedatingjournal.wordpress.com. This chick has been thru so much in the short time I have been reading. She has a potty mouth which I appreciate, and can make you laugh and cry, as well as get red-hot (ha ha Priscilla, red-hot in two ways 😉 ) angry. She is explicit. She doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks about her words. I look up to her in some ways. So please, check her blog out and see what all the fuss is about!!!

With the award, comes rules. I try to follow them as I see fit, and this time I will try! Here they are:

The Sunshine Award rules are:

Include the award logo in a post or somewhere on your blog.

Answer 10 questions about yourself.

Nominate 10 to 12 other fabulous bloggers.

Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blog, letting them know about the award.

Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

So, since there is no “set” generic questions, I get to make them up, and they are:

Q: Did you always want kids?

A: Hell no! I was that lady that liked them when they are someone elses to hand back to!

Q: Chocolate or Vanilla?

A: Psh! Carmel baby!

Q:Rich or Healthy?

A: Healthy. If I am too sick to spend all that money whats the point?

Q: Pet peeves?

A: Teeth grinding. Ugh it drives me insane!

Q: Righty or Lefty?

A: Lefty

Q: Most embarrassing moment of all time?

A: I wont go into details but, rollerblading down a hill was not my best moment. Picture the cartoon who slams into a wall with their arms up in the air. That, my friends, was me!

Q: Favorite Color?

A: I have two, pink and black.

Q: Favorite off line activity?

A: Ever since I was young, it has been reading. I have over 200 books on my Kindle alone, and I am trying to hard not to add more untill I finish up these ones. Clearly that wont work!

Q: Number of Siblings?

A: 3 brothers, 2 whom I don’t talk to ever (1 of them I wish I did.) 1 sister who hates me, and 1 sister who I love to death!

Q: Celebrity crush?

A: Gerard Butler and Jason Aldean!! MMM! I love them both!!

Now to the nominations!! Gosh there are so many of y’all who I read daily, I wish I didnt have to just pick a handful. Everyone of you has brought some sunshine into my life here and there! So, with that, my nominees are:

 dirtyrottenparenting.com

articlesofabsurdity.com/

tadams4u.wordpress.com/

averagechildhood.wordpress.com/

unfinishedbizness.wordpress.com/

pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/

notquiteold.wordpress.com/

momoftwosalums.wordpress.com/

jerry-mahoney.com/

stufficantputonfacebook.wordpress.com/

Seriously, go check them all out. I think you will love them just as I do!!

May 22, 2012

Best Movie Quotes…EVER

by mommahasapottymouth

I have a thing for one liners, a bad thing. Some movies will stay with me until my dying day, just because of one line! I want to share them with you, so you too can be a “One-Liner” fan! Enjoy!

From “Knocked Up”

  • “I wont say it, but it sounds like shmashmortion.”
  • Ben” Do you want to do it doggie style?”

Allison “Your not going to fuck me like a dog.”

          Ben “It’s doggie style. It’s just the style. We don’t have to go outside      or        anything.”

  • Daughter after being asked where she thinks babies come from ” Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there’s blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.”

From “Big Daddy”

  • Sonny: “Julian what do you want?”
  • Julian: “Thirty packets of ketchup”
  • ” I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass.”

From ” Step-Brothers”

  • Robert better not get in my face… ’cause I’ll drop that motherfucker!”
  • “I tea-bagged your drum set”
  • “Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, “Lets get it on.”

From “Anchor Man”

  • “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly”
  • “Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.”
  • “I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.”
  • “He punted Baxter!!!”

From “Anger Management”

  • “I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my… last name! That’s all I want.”
  • “Dave, there are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive, which is the most common, is the type of individual you see screaming at a grocery store cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive, the least common, is the cashier at the store who remains quiet at his job day after day until he then finally loses it and just shoots everyone in the store. You’re the cashier.”

From “Fried Green Tomatoes”

  • “I don’t know what’s worse, church or jail.”
  • “That’s right, you gump-face, blown up, baboon-assed bastard! “

And finally, one of my mommas favorite movies:

“Steel Magnolias

  • This is it, I’ve found it, I’m in hell.”
  • ” Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”
  • “Oh, Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt”
  • ” I love ya more than my luggage.”
  • ” You are too twisted for color TV!”
  • “I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood 40 years!”
  • “A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
  • “What’s the matter with you these days, M’Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?”

 

By the way, my momma knows almost every line to that last one. Its cute sometimes I don’t think she even relies that she is quoting it anymore!

 

May 17, 2012

This is our FUTURE?

by mommahasapottymouth

 

So, today as I sit back and think about my children’s future, a horrid thought ran across my mind; “My generation is SCREWED!” I can not imagine what will happen to me as I grow old and need help. I can not fathom having to rely on either our government or today’s youth for anything. Honestly, I am quite afraid. So I’ll just get right to addressing the huge elephant in the room now:

 

Have any of you watched the news lately? How many times have you heard about kids bringing guns to school? Or all the bullying? What about all the cuts OUR government wants to make to things like Medicare? Will Social Security be a thing of the past? Retirement age keeps going up,( yes I understand, that goes up with life expectancy, but really??) How many will end up with some sort of “After-High-School” training or education? What about all the meth heads and other druggies? Will they steal my high blood pressure medication or my heart medication? I know I am being silly, but we have to consider these things? What does our future hold?

 

 

 

If you think I am wrong in my feelings about today’s youth, visit this link. It’s a poll taken over a period of a few years, and illustrates my feelings. Although I fit in the 18-29 year old category, I am less than optimistic.

And please, don’t get me started on the outlook for Social Security and Medicare. It’s a joke. I realise that is not our youths fault, but congress. I would rather not blame anyone. But, alas, the blame must fall.

I am also a little worried about the work ethic. I mean, with the number rising of Americans (young and old ) abusing illicit drugs, I can’t imagine that the work ethic is very strong. With that, I would assume, goes the want to succeed and be better.

So my question, who is going to man the rest home or hospice I happen to land in if fewer people are being trained to do so? Who is going to foot the bill (because I most definitely will not have all kinds of money saved) when some fool with no desire to care for me grudgingly takes me in out of pitty?

 

May 16, 2012

Dear Son…

by mommahasapottymouth

In my attempt to write to my lovely little girl (who is sleeping, which is why she is so lovely) about all the things I want her to know, I think I should tell my beautiful son ( I know he’s a boy. But boys are beautiful too. Especially mine) the things I want him to know. Keep in mind I am his momma. So, I may sound more over protective then with my daughter.

Dear JR,

As your momma I think I should tell you some things. Some may call it talking from the heart. Others may call it preaching. Whatever you wish to call it, Just know that:

You will always be my little boy. No girl will ever be good enough, and when you do decide to marry and leave old momma behind, I will give you hell. And her. But if you truly love her, I will too. You should also know that you where a gentle baby, try to stay that way as a man. I know it will be trying even in the best of times, but being gentle and kind will make you a better person in the end. You should also know that its ok for men to cry. Your daddy may tell you other wise but listen to your momma when I say that when things are bad and you need to shed some tears, that is good for the soul.

You need to know that I wanted you before you were born, and that no matter what, I will always back you. I will not always agree with you but I will always support you and be your cheering squad. When you think you have no one in this world, you will always have me.

You need to look out for your sister, as my momma always told me and your uncle, from cradle to grave, she is all you got. Don’t push her away. When you are older and wiser, she very well may be your best of friends. She needs you. And, son, you need her. Protect her, but don’t bully her. Listen to her when she cry’s. Don’t ever berate her or call her names. When you where a baby, she always called you her baby. And I think you loved her best.

I love you and I always will. Don’t you ever forget that.

Love,

Momma

 

I really don’t think that I need to sum that up.

My baby Boy

May 13, 2012

I am Momma, Therefore…

by mommahasapottymouth

( Let me start by saying that this is NOT a complaint. Nothing I say in this post is me being unhappy or venting. Because I am momma, I am also a lot of other things, although a lot of others will argue that once you are momma, you are never anything else. Well, sir, I beg to differ.)

pregnant with AM

I am Momma, therefore:

I lie. All the time. Some lies are not bad. Sometimes they are to appease little children who have a case of the I wants. Sometimes, they are to get a child to shut up. Take it or leave it though, I lie.

I am Momma, therefore:

I have an imagination. I can make up stories at the drop of a hat, and play Barbie with the best of them.

I am Momma, therefore:

I have selective hearing. I can tune out a screamin kid like nobodies business. I can also hear little children down the hall about to flood the bathroom.

I am Momma, therefore:

I am a maid. I clean butts, kitchens and litter boxes. I wash clothes and do the shopping. That said…

I am Momma, therefore:

My house is NOT spick and span. Dishes are clean and put away, but there are dust bunnies. There is clutter. I am not ashamed to admit this.

I am Momma, therefore:

I get dirty. My daughter loves the mud like her daddy, therefore, I get dirty too.

I am Momma, therefore:

I am a Doctor and Nurse. I fix owies and heal boo boos. I will eventually have to heal broken hearts as well.

I am Momma, therefore:

I have bags under my eyes and a ponytail. My nails are hardly polished, and I don’t get to wear makeup often. I don’t go out, Ive traded those in for bed time stories and late night snuggles.

I am Momma, therefore:

I am a fighter. I will fight every step of the way to make sure that my babies get what they need in life. I also tend to fight my kids, but we all make sacrifices.

I am Momma, therefore:

I am in love. My babies mean more to me then anything in this world.

Pregnant with JR

I am Momma.

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