Best Movie Quotes…EVER

by mommahasapottymouth

I have a thing for one liners, a bad thing. Some movies will stay with me until my dying day, just because of one line! I want to share them with you, so you too can be a “One-Liner” fan! Enjoy!

From “Knocked Up”

  • “I wont say it, but it sounds like shmashmortion.”
  • Ben” Do you want to do it doggie style?”

Allison “Your not going to fuck me like a dog.”

          Ben “It’s doggie style. It’s just the style. We don’t have to go outside      or        anything.”

  • Daughter after being asked where she thinks babies come from ” Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there’s blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.”

From “Big Daddy”

  • Sonny: “Julian what do you want?”
  • Julian: “Thirty packets of ketchup”
  • ” I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass.”

From ” Step-Brothers”

  • Robert better not get in my face… ’cause I’ll drop that motherfucker!”
  • “I tea-bagged your drum set”
  • “Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, “Lets get it on.”

From “Anchor Man”

  • “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly”
  • “Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.”
  • “I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.”
  • “He punted Baxter!!!”

From “Anger Management”

  • “I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my… last name! That’s all I want.”
  • “Dave, there are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive, which is the most common, is the type of individual you see screaming at a grocery store cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive, the least common, is the cashier at the store who remains quiet at his job day after day until he then finally loses it and just shoots everyone in the store. You’re the cashier.”

From “Fried Green Tomatoes”

  • “I don’t know what’s worse, church or jail.”
  • “That’s right, you gump-face, blown up, baboon-assed bastard! “

And finally, one of my mommas favorite movies:

“Steel Magnolias

  • This is it, I’ve found it, I’m in hell.”
  • ” Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”
  • “Oh, Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt”
  • ” I love ya more than my luggage.”
  • ” You are too twisted for color TV!”
  • “I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood 40 years!”
  • “A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
  • “What’s the matter with you these days, M’Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?”

 

By the way, my momma knows almost every line to that last one. Its cute sometimes I don’t think she even relies that she is quoting it anymore!

 

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One Comment to “Best Movie Quotes…EVER”

  1. Loved this and in total agreement with the lines you selected. Great read in my sickly state.

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